Building lives of devoted prayer, intentional community

How can we foster a spiritual life that truly feeds our souls and sparks our desire to live the Gospel more fully?

Mary DeTurris Poust (Courtesy photo of CINDY SCHULTZ)

This month has given me the opportunity to lead retreats for four different groups, from the annual North Country Catholic Women’s Retreat at Wiawaka on Lake George to a mini-retreat at the national Catholic Media Conference in Atlantic City to an online retreat for Ursuline Associates and finally to Graymoor for my “Broken, Beautiful & Beloved” retreat. Despite the differences in age, background, ministry and location, two things continually rose to the surface across the divides: the challenge of making time for prayer in our overscheduled lives and the need to find and build spiritual community.

For most of us, prayer life is a given, a central part of our lives, even as it ebbs and flows through the seasons and struggles we inevitably experience. We trust God is there, even when we sometimes feel disconnected. We sense the presence of the Spirit during those times when “serendipity” cannot begin to explain the mystical moments that occur amid the mundane minutia of our days. We welcome and receive Jesus week after week, knowing that this spiritual food sustains us in ways we cannot begin to understand. And yet, despite all of that, we can sometimes feel adrift, unsure of how to deepen the connection with God in a world that demands we fill every waking moment with “productive” activities society deems worthwhile. We often feel alone, despite the non-stop virtual connectivity that feeds the itch for interaction without ever fulfilling the need for true friendship.

So how can we shift the narrative and foster a spiritual life that truly feeds our souls and sparks our desire to live the Gospel more fully? As St. Benedict reminds us in his Rule, “Always we begin again.” Whenever we feel we’re getting off course, or missing our prayer time, or becoming too isolated, we can start over. Every day, if necessary. We can look at our lives and our routines and see where we might have pockets of time that get frittered away on doomscrolling or binge watching TV shows or bringing our work into our weekends and vacations, something that is often treated like a badge of honor but is a surefire path toward burnout, spiritual and otherwise. Make a space and time at home that is devoted only to God, and, as we are told in Matthew 6:6, “go to your inner room.” No matter how busy our days, all of us can carve out a small slice of time for intentional prayer with God.

Of course, trying to walk this journey alone is not easy or recommended. We know from Scripture that Jesus wanted us to form community, to lift each other up. We can find that kind of community readily in our parishes, but we can actively foster closer friendships with those who understand the joys and challenges of living a spiritual life in a secular world.

Henri Nouwen, in his book “Life of the Beloved,” wrote: “Our greatest fulfillment lies in giving ourselves to others.” He goes on to say, “The real question is not ‘What can we offer to each other? But ‘Who can we be for each other?’”

We do not need to have extraordinary talents or deep theological insights or significant material wealth in order to be present to others. For many of us, thinking those things are required can become a stumbling block to building community and finding the joy of spiritual friendship. If we are willing to let down our guard, however, and open ourselves up to encounter, we are sure to find fellow pilgrims. When we do, like the disciples on the Road to Emmaus, we are likely to meet the Lord along the way in an unexpected place or person and find our hearts burning within us.

So many people are searching for God and for community. It’s up to us to answer the question Nouwen posed: “Who can we be for each other?”

Mary DeTurris Poust will be leading the annual Stillpoint Retreat at Pyramid Life Center Sept. 11-13. For more information, visit NotStrictlySpiritual.com/events/.