Our busy families

Father Thomas Morrette

February is a quiet month, colder, shorter days and colder weather. February has only Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday on the horizon. The big push required for the holidays is over and, thankfully, we’ve all gotten through the first month of the new year, despite the recent enormous snow storm. February is a nice, quiet, ordinary month — nothing too grand about it.

The Catholic Church dedicates the month of February to the Holy Family. What holiness and peace must have existed in that family! After all, the very Son of God was in the midst of it. And who could ever diminish the goodness and beauty of the souls of the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph? I wouldn’t have minded living next to them, being one of their neighbors. No loud music at night, no fights to overhear, no weeds on their lawn.

The other night, I was pulling into the driveway of my rectory just after dinner time and saw lots of cars in our parking lot, all of them carrying students to our CYO basketball game. It took me a minute to recall why they were there. We are so fortunate to have a terrific basketball team in our parish guided by Coach Brian DeStefano. Our kids love playing basketball in our gym and love working with him. He’s a great coach and basketball is a great sport, having many advantages for participants. I loved the sport as a teen, and I still often dream about getting enough time off to get to a Lakers’ game in Madison Square Garden. Yet, that night, my mind went to the parents who drove the kids to the gym that evening. It occurred to me that there are so many demands on parents today. Most of these parents were probably up at the crack of dawn to get the kids off to school and then, no doubt, to get to their own workplaces. After their own long day, they had to get their kids to one of the many after-school programs offered to students today and get them home afterwards. That’s a long day — not to mention preparing dinner, overseeing homework and getting the kids off to bed. A lot of responsibility on parents today. Even though love keeps them going, I wish I could send them all off for a good, long vacation to rest and play for a bit. Perhaps when I win the lottery I’ll do just that!

When I was a kid, after we got home from school, we ran into the neighborhood, collected our friends, and entertained ourselves with street sports and games until dinner. It was a safer time back then and everyone knew everyone in the neighborhood. Looking back, that downtime was not only a gift for us but also for our parents. Mental-health experts tell us that we need a good dose of self-care in times of busyness and demanding schedules. I hope our parents today take times of self-care these days and, without guilt. A peaceful family is built upon a predictable schedule with plenty of downtime, quiet and togetherness. Prayer and union with God are also best found in times of rest, silence and freedom from schedules and demands.

You may be reading this and saying to yourself: “This could only come from a celibate priest who knows nothing about real life.” Well, in some sense, that is true. But priests have their own lives to manage and we too are affected by constant demands, noisy living and many of the same challenges everyone faces. So my advice that I give here is the same advice I give to myself. Work hard, care for others, be responsible but — find some time to be a human being, not a “human doing.”

Father Morrette is pastor at The Catholic Community of Our Lady of Victory in Troy, Our Lady of the Snow Mission in Grafton and Christ Sun of Justice Parish in Troy.