‘I’M SORRY’

Bishop Mark holds prayer service for those who feel separated from the Church

(Courtesy photo of CINDY SCHULTZ)

It was an emotional but powerful weekend at the St. Kateri Tekakwitha National Shrine and Historic Site in Fonda. 

Under the call of Bishop Mark O’Connell, a prayer service was held for anyone who felt exiled or unwelcome by the Catholic Church. The gathering took place on Sunday, Aug. 23, at 1 p.m. in the shrine’s outdoor Kolbe Pavilion. 

Kim Wells, of Albany (top), becomes emotional after her fiancé Román Jáquez shares how he became disillusioned with the Catholic Church. (Cindy Schultz photos for The Evangelist)

Earlier that same day, Bishop Mark celebrated Mass at the shrine at 10:30 a.m., but wanted to host an additional event — which was officially titled “We are all searching for the Light” — to help those who may be less inclined to attend a traditional Catholic service feel more welcome.

“Some of you perhaps are people who got an invitation from me and accepted that to come and see if this is still your place, and others are here in support,” Bishop Mark said in his opening remarks, “so welcome one and all.”

The inspiration for the day came after the Bishop’s visit to the shrine back in April. St. Kateri Tekakwitha, the first Native American saint and native to the Mohawk land in Fonda, is also the patron saint of people in exile.

Melissa Miscevic Bramble, director of operations for the shrine, said this patronage has helped people who feel exiled from the Catholic Church find a place to explore their faith more easily.

Bishop Mark O’Connell shares a sign of peace during a prayer service for those 
who feel exiled from the Catholic Church. 

“We had seen so many people who still cared about the Catholic faith but maybe are unsure of their welcome within the Catho­lic Church and are hesitant to go into more traditional Catholic spaces but will still come here, and to me that really reflected St. Kateri’s patronage of people in exile,” Bramble said during the prayer service. 

After learning this on his visit, Bishop Mark released a letter to the Diocese at the start of August inviting anyone who felt exiled by the Church to join the prayer service, saying he felt “a clear call to respond.”

Around 50 attendees came to the service, a mix of priests, supporters and those who felt called to attend for their own interests. Some became emotional during the service, and one attendee came forward to speak at the end to offer testimony to his faith journey. 

Bramble shared a few testimonies of guests who have come to the shrine over the years after being hurt by the Church.

“One older lady said, after one of our mental health talks, when she was a girl, their parish priest said their grandmother was not going to heaven because she committed suicide,” Bramble said. “We have people who come here who have come out as gay and felt like there was no place for them in the Church, spent some time praying in our candle chapel here, and through that channel, felt God’s love and felt welcomed back to the Church.”

Deacon Dick Solar reacts to Bishop Mark O’Connell’s words during a prayer service for those who feel exiled from the Catholic Church.

Bishop Mark led the service in a purple stole, the color that represents penance.  

“There are some people who feel separated from the Catholic Church, feel exiled, who just need an apology,” Bishop Mark said. “They just need to be told, ‘Yes and I’m sorry.’ So my purple penance is a ‘Yes and I’m sorry.’ I am sorry if it was the abuse crisis that affected your life and affected your faith. I’m very, very sorry.”

“I want you to know that God has beautifully placed me in my life in such a privilege, for 25 years, I’ve been working to be part of the solution of that and not the problem. … Some of you may identify in a different way than the Church preaches. … Whatever it is, I’m sorry if you feel unwelcome, not needed.”

“Some of you think the Church is just not advanced, not listening. They could change. What happened to Vatican II? I’m sorry about that. Some of you think the Church should be back to what it was when I was a kid and there’s too much change, the opposite. I’m sorry about that. Whatever brings you here today in support or just seeking to see God’s call in your life, welcome. I’m so happy you’re here.”

Bishop Mark O’Connell is moved to tears when he apologizes to those who’ve left the Catholic Church because of the sexual abuse scandal.

Román Jáquez, an attendee who offered his testimony during the service, came with his fiancée, Kim Wells, after hearing the announcement at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. 

Jáquez has had his own bumpy journey with the Church: Originally from the Dominican Republic, Jáquez always wanted to be a Franciscan priest and joined the seminary at age 15. After moving to the United States, he planned to continue his studies, but was rejected. 

“I went from being a devout Catholic to questioning if the Catholic Church was real,” he said.

Now, Jáquez is divorced but engaged and expecting a baby with his new fiancée, who is Catholic. A lot of the conversations they share are about wanting to belong. 

“Part of me would love to restore my relationship with the Church, but where do I belong in the Catholic Church with my history and my current state of life?” he asked.

It’s a question he’s happy he pursued navigating that afternoon: “I’m glad I came,” Jáquez said. “The vulnerability of today’s event, I felt it was beautiful.”

A statute of St. Kateri Tekakwitha, patron saint of exiles, is a welcoming presence to the entrance of the Saint Kateri Tekakwitha National Shrine and Historic Site in Fonda.

Jasmine Freeman, an attendee from Middleburgh, came to the event hoping to meet Bishop Mark and hear what advice he had to share. Freeman, who is new to the Catholic Church, found the service pointed to the ways Catholics are called to love each other.

“There are a lot of misconceptions about the Catholic Church today,” she said. “I feel like a lot of people think they are a lot more rigid than they really are, and they get a reputation of not being all about love, but everything I’ve heard today, and in my few months’ journey with the Catho­lic Church, is all about love and taking care of one another.”