Humility, the key to happiness

Bishop Edward B. Scharfenberger

Most people seek happiness. In fact, the search for it in some place, some person, some lifestyle dominates the life of those for whom happiness seems somewhat beyond their grasp. Not everyone will admit it, but even the most content amongst us, if asked what more we could possibly hope for, would respond with something like, “more of the same.” Yet in that answer lies still a certain dissatisfaction with the way things are. More of “the same” is another way of saying that “the same” is not enough!

What can we learn from the lives of people who just seem to radiate happiness almost all the time? The saints would be a good place to begin. Not typically known for living easy or convenient lives as the world might define it — health, wealth, power and prestige — they nonetheless radiate deep joy and peace. Able to live lives of extraordinary energy and generosity, they hold no grudges or resentments against those who may not appreciate their labors nor grow tired of giving away from whatever they possess. They even pray for their persecutors (cf Mt 5:44). What is their secret?

An attitude of gratitude is surely at the heart of the life of almost every happy person that I have known or learned about. What is the best soil in which that can grow? Well, if we go back to the Latin word for soil — humus — from which our English word “humility” is derived, I think we may be close to an answer. Aside from the natural fertility different soils might contain — the blessings of good location, climate and mineral endowment — all soil, to be arable, must be porous enough to be watered and fertilized. Jesus offers us a parable taken from nature comparing different soil conditions to the receptivity of the soul to grace (Mt 13:1-23, Mk 4:1-20, Lk 8:4-15). The ability of that grace — which is so prodigally generous from the hand of the divine Sower — to achieve its promise depends much on the disposition of the receiver. The humble soul is the one most prepared to be filled with this good seed of God’s life-giving grace, just like good soil. This is the meaning of the humility, which the saints have in abundance.

So having nothing is like having everything then? Mother Teresa, I have learned, considered the United States to be the poorest country in the world. This is not how we usually think of our land and its people, with its abundance of natural resources, its unparalleled economic engine, and its great diversity of talents. As we might suspect, however, what Mother Teresa was referring to was a spiritual poverty because of which she felt our abundance presented to us an enormous challenge. Getting to heaven — the essence of everlasting happiness — is more difficult for a rich person than trying to pass through the eye of a needle. In effect, Jesus warned those rich in the world’s goods would find it almost impossible (cf Mt 19:24).

It is not so difficult to see how maintaining a humble spirit of openness to God’s grace puts the soul in a better position to receive it. Whatever clutters up the soul’s soil — the rocks and stones of pride, possessions and entitlement — makes it more difficult for us even to see the graces when they arrive. Our spiritual vision is dimmed by dark glasses through which we see life and this can so easily deprive us of the very light and soul food that we are starving for, the happiness that eludes us.

So humility means just accepting that we are nothing or good for nothing, and just groveling in helplessness! I would submit that this is a false “humility.” In fact, it is more of a form of pride. Believing that I am worthless is another way of saying that I do not think even God could love me, let alone do anything with me. Nothing could be further from the truth! Each and every one of us, as Genesis teaches, is created “in the image and likeness of God” (Gn 1:27). What’s more is that the Word of God became flesh (Jn 1:14). The Second Person of the Blessed Trinity became God Incarnate, died and rose in the same flesh, and has not cast off his humanity. God sees and loves in us what he sees and loves in Christ. This is another way of saying that God looks at us as human beings with a love that motivated the Father to give us his only Son. Talk about humility and generosity! Is this not a way of saying that the best way we can imitate God — who is the happiest of all — is by being humble and generous? Humility is perhaps the most Christ-like of all virtues and practicing it is how the saints learned the secret of being happy.

We all know that this may take time to learn. It takes great patience. Patience is an exercise in the practice of the virtue of hope. Opening our tightened fists that hold on to the many “possessions,” those attitudes and desires that we cling to in order to feel secure in this often hostile and chaotic world is something we need to ask God for some help in. Even being just disposed to let God help us to get rid of some of those idols, those habits and patterns of thinking that are doing us no good and only burdening us more, is itself a willingness to “work with God” in plowing the soil of our hearts and freeing us from our addiction to sinful ways which bring us so much unhappiness.