September 10, 2024 at 3:25 p.m.
Hearing God’s call
How could I be a priest? That thought ran through my head frequently when I began discerning the possibility of becoming a priest in mid-life. I was entering my fifties, had been married and had a son. And I was a practicing lawyer, no less!
The path of discerning whether the Lord was calling me took many years. How many times I paused, doubted, second-guessed. Like St. Peter, I sensed myself sinking when I considered only my own limitations, when I doubted what I could offer in ministry. When I began to lead small group discussions, I was unsure how I would be at sharing my own encounter with the Lord in Scripture. When I began hospital visits, I was filled with unease about how to comfort someone in illness. When I first led a wake service, I was unsure how I would offer any consolation to a grieving family. So it was at every step along the path.
Yet through God’s grace I stayed on the path. And I heard God’s assurances in the voices of those around me, and in the place of the doubts I found peace. Like the person who told me that a Scripture program that I had organized had had a real impact on their faith. Or the appreciation that someone related back to the parish for a hospital visit that I had made. I could take observations like these to prayer and, little by little, hear confirmation that I could indeed fulfill the role of a priest.
A perfect gift to the imperfect
As we reflect on vocation this month, we are reminded that it is the Lord who calls us to mission in the Church. The calling, the vocation, may be to lay ministry in a parish, as it was for me for many years. And yet the Lord may call us at different times to other vocations, such as the priesthood, diaconate or religious life.
As we move through St. James’ letter at Masses this month, we hear that “every perfect gift is from above” (Jas. 1:17). Whatever “gifts” we have come from the Lord. These gifts are “perfect,” meaning complete. We are imperfect in exercising these gifts, no doubt, but God has given us what we need to fulfill the mission that he entrusts to us, to serve the people he puts in our path.
It is a matter of hearing that call, and often it takes words of encouragement from others to hear it. The Called by Name diocesan initiative allows us to do just that. It offers all of us an opportunity to consider those around us whom the Lord may be calling and to offer them an invitation to discern.
In the end, the question of whether the Lord was calling me led me to the deeper discovery, now that I am a priest, that the real gift has been for me. In preaching and writing about the faith, I have been able to share the Good News. Yet in sharing the Gospel, my own faith is strengthened. In celebrating the sacraments, particularly confession, I am an instrument of God’s mercy. Yet I also see the beauty of God’s mercy comforting his faithful. In pastoral work in the parish, I offer whatever words of counsel or consolation I can. Yet I am privileged to see the Lord acting in the lives of the faithful. In them, I encounter the Lord.
This is all a gift from God to me, and any gift from God is always a perfect gift.
Father Tom Fallati is parochial vicar at St. Kateri Tekakwitha parish in Schenectady.
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