PAStoral or PasTORal?

In the end, good pastoring is everyone’s responsibility.

Bishop Edward B. Scharfenberger

“Some men think the Earth is round, others think it flat; it is a matter capable of question. But, if it is flat, will the King’s command make it round? And, if it is round, will the King’s command flatten it?”

Robert Bolt places these words in the mouth of Sir Thomas More in the script for “A Man for All Seasons.” Its meaning and application are far more universal that its context in the drama, which revolves around the limits of the King’s authority over matters of divine and ecclesiastical law. As the title of this article signals, there are two common pronunciations of the word “pastoral.” Though I may have my own preference for the first (as in PAStor), my opinion is irrelevant and both are considered acceptable. What I do wish to note, however, is that the scope of activity attributed to the practice of being “pastoral” enjoys a remarkable latitude, sometimes misguided, however well intentioned. Two examples from my own experience come to mind.

One such case involved a very poor parish that had fallen into serious debt over the years. In time, it had grown to $100,000. The pastor was a very active and well-respected man. He never shared the reality of the deficit with his flock. This was before the days in which a finance council was mandated by Universal Church law. His avowed reasons were “pastoral:” the truth, he believed, would have crushed his people’s spirit. Now it is likely that, had they known, they would have been more than willing to pitch in, even if running a cake sale or a raffle would have done little to curb the mounting debt. His successor, unfortunately, was left with the unwelcome task of revealing the dire findings, of which he soon learned. You can imagine how crestfallen the faithful felt to discover not only their financial peril, but that they had not been trusted enough to be told the truth. “Pastoral” in this instance amounted to gaslighting. 

A similar kind of misplaced withholding of important information sometimes occurs with persons in formation, such as full sacramental initiation or even religious life. It often occurs in the early stages of the RCIA process, wherein a person may have been married previously and perhaps planning to re-marry or to convalidate a current union. Somehow it must be resolved that the first union was not valid or binding for life, which typically involves some process at the diocesan tribunal. For fear of discouraging the aspirant, and in the name of “pastoral” sensitivity, the revelation of this impediment is sometimes delayed. Those in tribunal ministry are familiar with the 11th hour request for an “annulment” to be rushed so that the long-anticipated wedding can take place. God bless these folks if they can pull this off, but sometimes it is just not possible in a short time. One can only imagine the disillusionment of people who were kept so long in the dark.

Both of these examples are instances in which being “pastoral” is conflated with delaying or withholding of information that persons, in justice and charity, are owed. I say in justice and charity since both are involved, since the timely communication of the information is not only the right, but the loving thing. I am sure other examples, perhaps even better, come to mind for those who hold pastoral offices and responsibilities. I have even visited parishes where the penitential rite is omitted because “we don’t talk about sin here because it upsets some who we want to feel included.” You may have guessed it … for “pastoral” reasons. Yet isn’t our common need to acknowledge our sins and receive God’s forgiveness something that unites us in our need for pastoral care? Pastoring denied in the name of being pastoral!

Now there are examples on all sides of what one might call the “truth spectrum” where disclosing brute truth may not always be the most charitable option. Jesus himself said that there were many things he had to tell his disciples, but they could not bear it (cf. Jn 16:12). Man cannot bear very much reality at times. The principle of gradualism or pastoral “spoon feeding” may be employed if the goal of leading others to the truth is not lost. 

In the Scriptures we often find parables and other literary devices where lessons are taught by examples that stir, even jolt the conscience. Yet it has also been observed that faith is more effectively caught than taught. The power of example can be more compelling than a recitation of the catechism. What people often need is not just to be told what is right, but shown how it is possible to do it. Perhaps you have witnessed role playing used as a catechetical device. A teen and a parent may reverse roles, each taking the other’s part, on some behavioral issue that needs to be addressed. Remarkably, each seems to know very well the viewpoint and language of the other. We often persist in the wrong not because we do not know it, but because we just like doing it, or are too indolent to abandon it. To paraphrase St. Augustine, “Please God make me good, but not just yet.”

This leads us to the importance of cultivating virtue — habits of living with truth and integrity. Yes, that means work. Identifying, for example, something that we know we need to improve with. Like listening. Or watching our language. Or making rash judgments of others before we really take time to know them. That’s pastoral! Good shepherding involves a great deal of personal discipline and patience, often beginning with oneself. The temptation to postpone a conversation because it is inconvenient, to put off till tomorrow a phone call or a meeting that another person needs our input on for their own well-being is not being pastoral at all. Patience should not be confused with kicking the can down the road, does it not. 

When it comes to pastoral planning, these principles of listening, facing facts, speaking candidly and in a timely manner may not always lead to results everyone wants. The decision to change or cancel a Mass time, to close a school or church, or to join with neighboring communities to share resources in a way that helps all thrive, even if on a smaller scale, involves great virtue and pastoral sensitivity on the part of all, especially the leadership team. The King’s command cannot make things true or good that are not so. In the end, good pastoring is everyone’s responsibility. Looking out for the good of the other as well as for the common good — those values and ways of working well that affect us all.

 @AlbanyDiocese