In our own words

Hearing a survivor's story gives me hope that it will inspire others to come forward with their own

Bishop Edward B. Scharfenberger

Actions speak louder than words. The adage is proven over and over again. Yet words matter, too. We have all been moved, for good or for ill, by the actions of others, by their good or bad example. The impact of that example is particularly strong when we have witnessed it for ourselves. Without a doubt, it is the eyewitness accounts of the early Christians that has earned the trust of countless disciples through­out the centuries. Through their words and actions, martyrs came to trust the Word of God, Jesus himself, through his spouse, the church.

Out of love for us all, Jesus himself entrusted his mission on earth to his church, his beloved spouse. It is a love story that will continue until the end of time. Like all love stories, our relationship to the church has its ups and downs, its highs and lows. Many good people, both Catholic and non-Catholic have gripping stories to tell about how their church they know — or feel they know — has affected their lives for good or for ill. That church, indeed even Jesus himself, is received or rejected on the basis of a single encounter, a relationship with a person who, in the mind and judgment of the narrator, represents either or both.

“Whoever listens to you listens to me. Whoever rejects you rejects me” (Lk 10:16). Jesus took an enormous risk when he entrusted his disciples with this awesome commission of being his very presence in the world. It may be proposed that he was speaking to them as a body, generically as it were, to the church universal in its teachings and practices throughout the centuries. That would certainly open the door to a great deal of scapegoating. “Don’t look at me for any example, look at the pope!”

We can easily underestimate the charge Jesus has placed on each and every disciple to be his eyes and ears, his hands and his feet in the world. In my parish days, I often said to our parish employees and volunteers: “YOU are the pope!” Of course, I did not mean that literally. Yet the fact is, as I would try to explain, many people will likely form an opinion of the entire church, even Jesus himself, based on their words and example. 

In no way do I intend to diminish the special role of priests, bishops and religious — those who have given their lives in special service — who are ordained and professed by the church itself in their respective missions. In fact, the horrendous wounds inflicted on innocents through the abuse of power is a stain on the purity of the spouse of Christ which affects us all. The trauma of sexual abuse, in particular, suffered by so many survivors, has affected all of us in some way.

It is as sad as it is understandable how the sinful or even imprudent actions and words of one person who is preaching, teaching or otherwise acting as an agent of Christ’s church, can compromise, even break, a person’s relationship or trust with the church, and even Jesus himself. We must never cease to pray and do penance for these terrible sins and to keep the doors of our hearts open to those who tell us their stories.

While some people may find it almost impossible to ever return to the place where they suffered such wounds and humiliation, the love of God continues to pursue each and every one of us. One may not be willing or able to accept the desires and efforts of a church that always must be reformed and seeks to be purified by confessing its own sins and opening its heart to the grace of Christ. It is heartening, however, from time to time, to hear the story of a person who, in their own words, will find the courage to describe his or her own journey back to the heart of Christ, through the very church in which they suffered so much.

An article appearing in this week’s edition of The Evangelist describes such a journey. I hope you will take the time to read it (“Clergy abuse: Priests are the antidote."). The title and the conclusion of the article may startle, particularly any survivor who has experienced abuse by a member of the clergy. Yet the narrative is personal and true. No less than the witness of the apostles and the martyrs, it testifies to an eyewitness experience of the power of God’s grace working through the very institution through which the survivor was wounded — in her own words.

The power of our words are greatly enhanced when accompanied by our good example. In the aftermath of COVID, during which person-to-person contacts were severely limited, we are beginning to realize how important those in-person relationships are. Many of the programs and gatherings with which we are so familiar — including the sacraments themselves — were severely restricted. Recovery has in most cases been slow. Yet I ask the question: how many of us are believers and remain believers because of some program we were a part of? Speaking for myself, I can say that the reason I am a believer has much to do with specific people I have known throughout my life, my family in particular, but also friends and even strangers whose words and actions have inspired me along the way.

“You may be the only Christ that some person may ever know!” I remember hearing this during a retreat I made many years ago. In a world where there is so much loneliness, so much brokenness because of a lack of trust — even in institutions we often held in very high esteem — it is refreshing to hear the personal witness of someone who has suffered the worst possible kind of abuse, betrayal by a trusted member of the church, and has come to recognize again the healing power of the sacramental life of the church, through the ministry of Catholic priests.

I hope that such a story will inspire others to come forward with their own. We have been given so much experience from which we can be a source of hope to others who have been wounded along the way. There is nothing more powerful, even life-transforming, than for another to hear that story — in our own words!