Choosing five minutes with Jesus

Mary DeTurris Poust (Courtesy photo of CINDY SCHULTZ)

Every now and then, something happens to remind us of our absolute faith in God. It might not even be something monumental. In fact, most times it is something insignificant, a moment that would be easy to miss. But if we’re paying attention, we just might get a spiritual “payout” that will sustain us like a life preserver when we are tossed on a rough sea, and the sea certainly seems to be rougher these days.

I was in the kitchen, washing vegetables and getting ready to make dinner, when my teen daughter started pondering who she might pick if she could have dinner with someone famous, living or dead. We bandied back and forth, tossing out different names and genres of people, and I said: “I hate to pick the most obvious person, which would be Jesus.” That prompted Chiara to ask: “If you could have one million dollars or five minutes with Jesus, what would you choose?” Without hesitation, of course, I said: “Jesus.” I wasn’t looking at her, but I guess that answer gave her pause, so she went a step further: “If you could have 10 million dollars or five minutes with Jesus, what would you choose?” To which I quickly said — without looking up from my prep work: “Jesus.” And from there we moved on, although the conversation stayed with me.

Later that night, I found myself coming back to it and replaying it in my head. On one level, I was not at all surprised by my answer because who wouldn’t take five minutes with the Son of God over anything else, material or otherwise? But another part of me was fascinated. So often I feel like my faith isn’t as deep as it should be, especially during these tumultuous times in our country and our world when we seem to be caught in some sort of existential death spiral. I wish I could let go of the anxiety that has me in its grip lately and trust that, in the words given to the great mystic Julian of Norwich by God, “All shall be well.” It’s not easy, and most of the time I feel like I’m failing and falling despite my best efforts. And then along comes a moment that stops me in my tracks and reminds me that no matter how things may feel on the surface of my spiritual life, deep down there is an abiding faith that knows without hesitation or question where my true loyalty lies.

When I decided to search Julian’s famous quote for deeper context, I came across a beautiful General Audience given by Pope Benedict XVI in 2010 on this very topic:

“Julian of Norwich understood the central message for spiritual life: God is love and it is only if one opens oneself to this love, totally and with total trust, and lets it become one’s sole guide in life, that all things are transfigured, true peace and true joy found and one is able to radiate it,” the late pope said, talking about the challenge of why evil and suffering exists.

“… God’s promises are ever greater than our expectations,” the late pope continued. “If we present to God, to his immense love, the purest and deepest desires of our heart, we shall never be disappointed. ‘And all will be well, all manner of things shall be well.’ This is the final message that Julian of Norwich transmits to us and that I am also proposing to you today.”

It’s a message that continues to speak to us today, when the level of anxiety in our world has reached epic proportions. Talk to friends and family members and the sense of dread is almost palpable, thanks to a culture where violence and division and false promises are the norm. And, so, like Julian, we come back to God. Again. Always.

Put aside all that the world holds out to you — both the terrifying and the tempting — and spend five minutes with Jesus. Choose that.

Mary DeTurris Poust is a writer, retreat leader and spiritual director living in the Capital Region. Visit her website at www.NotStrictlySpiritual.com.