Forgiveness is a gift

Choosing to forgive the hard stuff, because we have been forgiven.

(Editor’s note: Deacon James M. Agnew delivered this homily at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception on the 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time.)

Several years ago, I was having dinner with a friend, a seasoned Carmelite friar. After dinner, we were sitting on the porch and we began to talk theology. During our conversation, he asked me if I could recite the New Covenant (referring to the consecration of the precious blood, the new and eternal covenant). That question stumped me and I was quite embarrassed. I asked for some clarification and I began to try and explain what I thought he was getting at, what the New Covenant is, but I was struggling to answer his question. He went on to explain that if Jesus instituted a covenant, and we are part of this covenant, that would imply that God and we have some mutual responsibilities. You know, our end of the bargain — so to speak. It made sense, but I still couldn’t recite the New Covenant. It was quiet for a moment and then he broke the silence by beginning to recite the Our Father. “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name …” My friend was presenting the Our Father as the text of the New Covenant. I found this connection to be insightful and I could understand how the content of this prayer presents an image of God, and his expectations of us his people.

In today’s Gospel passage, we are given an important teaching on forgiveness and very soon as well in this Mass we will pray the Our Father together, and the words “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us” will leave our mouths. Forgiveness is defined as ceasing to feel resentment against an offender, to give up resentment of or claim to acquittal, or to grant relief from payment or debt. This is a very hard teaching and just like many of the harder teachings of Jesus, if we are to live as his disciples, we are given very little (if any) wiggle room that might diminish our responsibilities. Every time we pray the Our Father, we are essentially binding ourselves to this particular responsibility; that God would grant us forgiveness in proportion to how we’ve forgiven others. 

How can God ask us to give up every resentment, personal claim or entitlement, or desire for repayment? It can all too often seem as though to forgive something is to sin against justice. It can also seem that in some circumstances forgiveness would be to imply that no offense had taken place. I’m convinced that this is what Peter was getting at when he asked Our Lord, “If my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him?” I’m also convinced that in some way Peter was speaking for all of us because forgiveness can be so difficult. Jesus does not let Peter (or us) off the hook. No, he doubles down on the decisive role of forgiveness in the lives of those who would follow him.

Forgiveness is a clear and certain standard by which we can consider our commitment to the faith. To put it another way, we can see how close we are following Our Lord by our willingness to forgive another person. This is not some burden that God has placed upon us, but a way of life that God himself has embraced in Christ Jesus. Again and again, in the Gospel accounts we see Jesus model a life of forgiveness. There was probably no greater example than during his passion and death. Having been convicted and sentenced to death in a sham of a trial, having been betrayed, denied and abandoned by his friends, he was lifted on the cross. At that moment the scripture tells us he pleaded aloud that this cabal be forgiven! (cf. Lk. 23:34) In the Eucharistic sacrifice, we believe the Mass makes this dramatic event mystically present in time.  Therefore, we can say with confidence that forgiveness IS at the heart of the New Covenant and the Mystery of Faith which we proclaim, and into which we are called to participate.

Let’s face it though. Even if all of this makes good sense and we come to understand that forgiveness is a fundamental component of Christian discipleship, it continues to be very difficult to live out. How do we make it easier? One possibility is the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The Church asks us to confess our sins once a year, but this is merely a minimal requirement. I have come to learn that the more I bring my faults, my thoughts, my words, what I have done and what I have failed to do into the Sacrament of Reconciliation the more prepared I am to extend forgiveness. Placing forgiveness in this sacramental context brings out an aspect of the parable we heard. Forgiveness initially came from the “king who decided to settle accounts with his servants” (cf. Mt. 18:23). If the king in this parable represents God, then we might consider that forgiveness ultimately comes from God. 

In the final analysis, we choose to forgive because we have been forgiven. In this sense, forgiveness is a gift. Let us ask the Lord for the gift of forgiveness, that we may forgive “those who trespass against us” “not seven times but seventy-seven times” (cf. Mt 18:22).