October 18, 2023 at 12:25 p.m.
‘A FANTASTIC GRACE’
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” — Matthew 5:4
There is great intimacy in caring for a loved one who is dying. Being there for someone’s last moments is a heavy duty, but Sister Mary O’Donovan, O.Carm, calls it a great honor.
“You’re the last person they see before they see the face of God,” she said.
For the past eight years, Sister Mary has served as the vocations director for the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm, a consecrated religious order founded by Venerable Mary Angeline Teresa in Brooklyn, and dedicated to ministering and caring for the elderly in long-term healthcare, assisted living and independent living facilities.
The sisters serve in 20 elderly-care facilities across the United States, including the Teresian House in Albany, and one home in Ireland. Eight Carmelite sisters currently serve at the Albany location. Twenty-three sisters are stationed in the Carmelite’s motherhouse in Germantown.
“We have sisters in charge of the mission program and pastoral care,” Sister Mary told The Evangelist. Just having the sisters present for those living in the facilities is a huge help: “It’s the human contact and the presence; it’s about being a presence.”
The Carmelite sisters’ mission of caring for the elderly is evident in their hospitality, compassion and work in palliative care. The sisters begin each day with morning prayer and celebration of the Eucharist, two crucial pieces that make up “the fuel” of their work.
“Prayer is the fuel that lights the lamps,” said Sister Mary. “Prayer is what brings meaning. If we don’t have (Jesus), we can’t give him.”
Like the Carmelite’s foundress, Sister Mary was born in Ireland. Originally from Tipperary, she grew up Catholic with her six siblings. One summer in high school, her aunt asked Sister Mary to come visit and work at Our Lady’s Manor in Dalkey, outside Dublin, where some of the Carmelite sisters were also stationed.
“I just loved it so much,” she recalled. “It was the joy and the prayfulness of the sisters. I said, ‘I don’t know what they have, but I want it!’ ”
Growing up, Sister Mary’s grandparents also lived with her family. That early exposure to caring for the elderly helped her along her vocation journey.
“Mother (Mary Angeline Teresa) very much wanted the mission to be caring for the elderly, and she said it’s like taking the hand of the aging person and giving life. Everybody can do the work, but not everybody can bring Jesus. We instill that.”
In 1980, Sister Mary came to the United States to join the sisterhood. It wasn’t without difficulty to leave her country and family behind. A self-described “home bird,” she knew going away would be hard. In the end, it was the right decision.
“One of the things I have learned in religious life is that God won’t ask you to do something without the grace to do it,” she said. “It was a new culture and a new country, but I don’t regret that I have learned so much.”
Sister Mary obtained a bachelor’s in human services and minor in social work from St. John’s College in Queens, and a master’s in social work from Adelphi University in Garden City, N.Y. She spent 16 years in New York after final profession before returning to Ireland to serve in Our Lady’s Manor in Dublin for 19 years as a licensed social worker and psychotherapist. In 2015, she was appointed vocations director and returned to New York.
Sister Mary calls it a “fantastic grace” to serve those at the end of their life. “If somebody is dying, we never want someone to die alone.”
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