October 25, 2022 at 5:58 p.m.
Friending God
Friending God
Obviously, Jesus is our prime advocate, our best friend. He is preparing his disciples for his journey to Jerusalem, where he will face the cross. His death, resurrection and ascent into heaven will result in a different way of being with his disciples. He is preparing them for his sacramental presence and the powerful gift of the Holy Spirit, whose presence in the minds and hearts of his disciples is represented by tongues of flame resting on the head of all the Apostles at the momentous Pentecost event, and which the Apostles and their successors, the bishops, will impart through the ages in the sacrament of Confirmation.
The point is that Jesus wants us to know that he will never abandon us and that the way in which he will be present is through the action of the Holy Spirit in our lives personally and in the life of the Church as the body of Christ, as St. Paul would frame it (cf. Eph. 1:1-23). We know that the Scriptures contain many references to the presence of the Holy Spirit in the life of Christ. At his Baptism, the Spirit hovers over the head of Christ (Mt 3:13-17, Mk 1:9-11, Lk 3:21-23, cf. Jn 1, 29-33). He is the power that drives Jesus into the desert to confront the temptations of the devil (Mk 1:12). The Holy Spirit is a presence and a power at God’s creative and ordering activity (cf. Gen. 1:2, 8:1) and it is this “advocate” that Jesus wants to give to us as well for similar purposes.
Who is this Holy Spirit? I have heard the Holy Spirit described as the Love between the Father and the Son. The mystery of three divine persons — the Most Holy Trinity — “crazy in love” with each other (“pazzo d’amore,” as St. Catherine of Siena describes it, in Italian), revolving about each other for all eternity. The mutual love between the Father and the Son is so strong that it eternally generates another complete person, the Holy Spirit, all persons equally divine, yet one God in this mystery, unfathomable in its unity and dynamism.
When we learn that we, both as individuals and as the entire human race, are made in the image and likeness of God, it makes sense to see this in a Trinitarian perspective. We are not only created as individuals, but as social beings, connected to one another. None of us is here through the work of only one person. None of us totally defines themselves, despite contemporary pretentions about “choosing” one’s own identity.
Marriage is perhaps the most dramatic image of how God’s Trinitarian essence is reflected sacramentally: two persons, different but equal, by whom and through whom other persons, different but equal, are conceived and nurtured. Other forms of marriage have been devised throughout the course of history, but none represent this pattern so graphically as the original one (Gen. 1:27-28, cf. Gen. 2:18-24, Mt. 19, 1-12).
In all this what we see is a God who is intimately engaged in our humanity, not only in the ways in which God’s essence, the dynamic personal power that is within God’s real nature is revealed, but in the desire of every person for friendship, to be a friend and to be friended, which is a reflection of the image of God in each of us. Our desire to be a friend and to be friended is itself a sign of how we are made in the image and likeness of God!
I recently had a personal experience which I would like to share, which affirms for me the reality of what I have been reflecting on. In my prayer, it occurred to me to ask God very directly for a consolation. I do not know that I was seeking this for a specific need or a certain event or circumstance. I was just feeling a desire, that it would be so good to have a sense of God’s all-embracing love and affirmation. I guess I was asking for God’s breath somehow to speak to me. Almost instantly, not only did I receive a deep sense of peace, but I also sensed an awareness that God was very happy — even consoled — to offer this consolation. In other words, I felt it was making God happy to be able to make me happy!
I had never thought of my relationship with God in this way. I never thought that God somehow wanted me to offer my friendship to God and that I would so delight God in my offer of friendship. I am not certain how grounded this is theologically, but it seems to make perfect sense, and it is certainly what I think I experienced. Friends do enjoy mutual exchanges of affections. Why should it be different with God who, after all, invented friendship? All love comes from God! I want to be clear that I do not think I earn or deserve this in any way, but I feel I should share it for what it is worth, and I believe God wants you as a friend!
I have heard of certain saints and mystics who speak of “consoling the heart of Christ.” What could this possibly mean? What can I give God that God does not already have? We do see images of the Sacred Heart, surrounded by a crown of thorns. Why is the heart of Jesus depicted as wounded? Mother Teresa often spoke of the thirst of Jesus for our love. It begins to dawn on me that what wounds the heart of Jesus and what may well require — or desire — our consolation is his thirst for our hearts, for our love. Something St. Augustine said comes to mind, that doing God’s will is not only a matter of conforming our will to God’s, but of our heart as well. It is not just a matter of volition, but of passion and desire.
The passion of God for our human love, I think, is what drove Jesus to go to the extent he did to suffer for us on the cross and to endure its humiliation. The crucifixion is not so much a sign of God’s anger about our sins and the use of Jesus as our scapegoat, taking out the Father’s wrath, so to speak, on his Son. It is much more a sign of the extent to which God will go to be with every sinner in our weakness and to know the depth of divine love. Jesus will descend as far as is necessary into the depths to which we have sunk, so deep is his love for us and his desire to lead us home. Indeed, Jesus was brought very low to lift us up so high. What better sign of God’s friendship, of a desire to be our friend and to be friended?
In a word, God desires our hearts, desires our friendship, desires our love. God wants to be our friend. As much as we need God’s friendship, God desperately seems to want ours. It is not that God needs our friendship or affirmation to be God; it is just who God is: Love itself (1 Jn 4:7-21). It is then much more than a matter of need, control, payback or entitlement. Finally, as in all true friendship, it is a matter of love.
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