Abuse survivor adds voice to Siena event

Paul Ehmann, a self-proclaimed “lapsed Catholic” and survivor of sexual abuse, wants to offer a voice to the voiceless. 

Particularly if he sees “somebody step out of line and discount what a survivor’s story might be.”

“I’m not here to rebuild the Church and I’m not here to tear the Church down,” said Ehmann, who was not abused by clergy. “I support the mission of the Church in my own way, where I have a faith, I think, that works for me.” 

Ehmann was part of a lecture and panel discussion at Siena College on Saturday, Feb. 29, that looked at how the laity and Church can work together to build a stronger institution in the wake of the sex abuse scandal. “Let’s Rebuild Our Church,” was held at the Sarazen Student Union and featured the The Hesburgh Lecture titled, “Embracing the Joy of the Gospel in a Church in Crisis,” by Dr. Matt Ashley from the University of Notre Dame. 

The question-and-answer session was moderated by Jaclyn Brilling, a member of the review boards for the Diocese of Albany and Franciscan Conventual Province. Ashley, Ehmann, who is director of Real Property for the Diocese of Albany, Professor Kelly D’Souza from Siena College, and Father Thomas Konopka, from the Counseling Center of the Albany Diocese, all took part in the panel discussion.

“The longer I stayed around, working for the Diocese, people have said to me, given my history, ‘Are you crazy going to work for the Diocese in this climate?’ And I’m not,” said Ehmann, who paused before turning to Father Konopka, who is also a social worker, to add, “Um, am I?”

Ehmann, who was abused by four different men by the time he was 14, once attempted suicide but found God through a 12-step program, began with a long sigh followed by an “oh, boy” when asked about the importance of transparency in the Church.

He said financially, people deserve to know where their Church and diocese stands. From a victim’s perspective, Ehmann recalls a time when the importance of transparency came to light with his son. 

Ehmann said part of his journey included not meeting his son until he was 12. The two went on a walk, talking about all the things they never got to discuss before: what sports they were into, who their teams were, until about an hour and a half in Ehmann asked him who his favorite teacher was. His response was the same teacher who abused Ehmann. 

“I really don’t say it to shock anybody, this is just a matter of fact. From a transparency standpoint, it’s important that if someone had been an abuser, that if they were part of, what seems to be a part of the old regime — what they call in the teaching world, ‘passing the trash’ — that if a priest is abusing someone, it’s likely that they will abuse again,” Ehmann said.

Since joining Bishop Edward B. Scharfenberger’s Diocesan Task Force on the sex abuse crisis, Ehmann says his pessimistic view of the Church has changed as he became more informed on the current procedures taking place within the diocese.

“If a priest abuses somebody, I want people to know about it. I don’t want to wait,” Ehmann said, “Transparency is important to me from that standpoint, although I know now the way that the Church is operating is substantially better than what it had been.”

As for Catholics who want to try to turn the page on the sexual abuse scandal and start to rebuild, Father Konopka said, “People need to tell the story for as long as they need to tell the story, and they’ll know when they don’t need to tell the story anymore.”

Ehmann added from a morale standpoint, “the constant drip, drip, drip, of information that comes out really casts kind of a wet blanket.”

“I don’t know how it is in parishes, but I know when I’m inundated with just a constant drip of bad news, I have to have something good, to offset.” Ehmann added, “I think ultimately, putting a problem to bed on one level would help.”

Father Konopka said it’s important for leadership to work hand in hand with social work.

“My community, we talked enough about it at this point, ‘Will it come up again?’ Probably. We’ll talk about it again. I look at how we do grief and loss. We meet the person where they’re at and walk with them,” Father Konopka said, “I think the best thing if people are needing to talk about it, we listen.”

The panel discussion concluded with a vigil Mass celebrated by Bishop Scharfenberger in the Siena Chapel.