CATHOLIC VOICES

The Evangelist continues its interview series with Linda Styles Berkery, author of “Reflections: A Wardrobe of Life Lessons.” Berkery talks about growing up in South Troy and her journey as a writer. Catholic Voices features a wide range of men and women and will appear periodically in the paper and online. 

Linda Styles Berkery owns many dresses, and each one tells a story. Her childhood plaid brown dress reminds her of when her aunt judged her outfit choice; her first navy blue maternity outfit also served as the dress for her father’s wake and funeral; and a bright pink dress with shoulder pads was proudly worn when she was a Confirmation sponsor. Through each dress, Berkery tells a story, and through each story, a life lesson she’s learned. Berkery talked with Emily Benson of The Evangelist about her childhood, her faith and lessons of her new book for the latest edition of Catholic Voices. 

TE: Tell me about your upbringing?

LSB: I lived in a funeral home. My father was the director of Styles Funeral Home in South Troy. I have three sisters but one sister died at a year old, so I’m the middle child of the other two. And my mom and dad met in Lake George right before the war. She was from Watervliet and he was from Troy. I went to Catholic (Central) High and Russell Sage in Troy, and taught in Troy. Lots of ties to Troy! I met my future husband in Troy at Catholic High at 15. We’ve been together 55 years and we’ll be married 50 years in August. I have four grown children and seven grandchildren, so that’s awesome. Three out of the four live relatively local and the other is down in New Jersey, but being a grandma is a great experience. I’ve enjoyed that part of my life. 

TE: What was it like growing up in the funeral home?

LSB: It’s interesting because when you’re growing up you don’t know this is different. This is just your family house. There was a sense that my dad was a very outgoing person and I really think I learned a lot about compassion in people. The wake services would be downstairs, but at that time we had a backroom where there was a kitchen, so you prepared a meal for the family. The first thing I remember was, once we were old enough, you would go to the corner German bakery and you would buy those apple squares and the lady next door would come over and make us salads and we would have sandwiches and salads (for the wakes.) And you treat people with tremendous compassion and kindness. … There were a few (deaths) I knew were very hard on my dad. I lost a third cousin who was 10 years old. That was my first awareness of someone that’s your age could also die. Just because you grew up with (death) it wasn't weird or different, it was just people live and people die and you have to help with that in any way. And I watched my father, he was a very compassionate person. He would sit down with the people and talk to them and you'd see the handkerchiefs come out for grieving people, and like I said you got used to it. One of my favorite quotes, because it’s one of my vivid memories, is walking home from St. Joseph's school and coming in the door and hearing his voice in the backroom knowing he was in the morgue, and you’d say, 'Hey dad, who died?' It wasn't fearful it was just, 'Okay I’m going upstairs now, just checking in.'

TE: How did that impact your faith?

LSB: In terms of your faith journey, you see that death happens and that there was a tremendous sense of God’s presence in that. There was a sense of God’s presence and quiet and peace. It was sad to lose a person who you loved, but a real sense of the resurrection and eternal life was just part of the mystery, part of the acceptance. It was just there. I guess you grow up with a familiarity in some way that says people are born and people die. And whatever you can do to help with that loss is really important to do, and that the presence of God is with you and will continue to guide you. 

TE: What work/ vocations are you involved in?

LSB: I taught elementary school in Troy at School 12, and left then to have children. My positions in ministry, in terms of my Catholic faith, unofficially I was very involved in the Christian initiation at St. Ambrose parish, and I did that and led that since 1988. I was just turning 40 when RCIA was becoming the way we will enter people into the faith. So I did that at St. Ambrose for quite a few years. When my husband lost his job, I also taught faith formation at St. Helen’s — which is now St. Kateri Tekakwitha — for a year with Father Jim Kane, and then I taught second grade at St. Helen’s. I've been at Our Lady of Assumption since 2001 (as pastoral associate for faith formation.)

TE: Did you  ever imagine becoming an author?

LSB: No, not really. I’ve always written and I’ve always kept journals and I’ve always reflected. I’m kind of an introvert so that’s how I process things. Writing has always been part of a prayer form for me. But no, I never would have considered myself a writer. I took a class down at the pastoral center when I was 59, now I’m 70. That kind of bounced me back to say, you know maybe I should write out some of these stories.

TE: What was the inspiration for your new book?

LSB: When I was taking a writing class, I had to write something on judgment, and I wrote this story about a dress. I said to the writing teacher at the time I can probably tell my whole life story through dresses, and she said I think you should go for that and just see where that leads you. And it took a couple of years, but interestingly enough you really could tell a lot of stories through that thread.

TE: You said you consider this a faith memoir?

LSB: I do. I specifically did not say this is a spiritual collection because I think we find our best graced history through the ordinary things. The story of when I was a very young mom and my former coworker showed up on my doorstep to clean, that’s at least 42 years old and I can vividly remember that moment. And you say why do I remember that? Because that kindness is everlasting. Is that a specifically faith story? No, but it’s kindness. Kindness through someone else moved by the spirit to say, ‘Hey, this person needs help.’ So I see them as faith stories because I see the presence of God’s spirit in each little nudge. 

TE: What was your goal for writing this book?

LSB: Originally it was just let's make this into a collection and see what happens. But then I started thinking about who is my target audience, who do I expect to read this book, and that’s why I wanted to make it a little bit broader. The people I think it really hits are the people who are middle-aged who have a little distance; enough to look back with an eye of reflection. Somebody just wrote me a handwritten note saying your book ignited my memories, your stories are not the same as mine, but you ignited my memories to go back and look at my own life and the lessons that I might have learned. So it raises questions for someone else and gives them a chance to reflect back on their own personal journey. 

TE: Do you have a life philosophy? 

LSB: My favorite prayer is in the book (by) St. Francis de Sales, and that’s still one of my favorite prayers. I think it really does sum up to me what I need to practice, and I don’t always: “Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear; rather, look to them with full hope that, as they rise, God, will deliver you out of them … Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting ­Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow.”