A deacon’s journey to priestly ordination

My journey to priestly ordination, when I look back at my life, was the farthest thing from my mind. I have been a deacon for the past 26 years and love every aspect of my ministry. But as I look back in time, I believe it all started about four months after the passing of my wife, Peggy. After 50 years of marriage, the woman I was totally in love with was an integral part of my being, who was the real reason for any accomplishment in my life, passed from my arms to the arms of our loving Lord, Jesus Christ, into paradise. Needless to say, anyone who has lost a spouse or any loved one can verify the darkness of those days. The time following Peggy’s death was a very dark, lonely time. I had never lived alone at any time in my life. I was immediately thrown into a realm of depression, fear and loneliness. I had to learn many things if I was going to survive.

In those dark months, God was so close to me, holding me when I needed a hug, listening to me when I needed to talk, talking to me when I needed to listen, and showing me his absolute love for me while my tears prevented me from seeing any of this. My once very good prayer life almost disappeared. But God was just beginning to perform many miracles in my life. His love and mercy flowed out from his infinite glory, and was mine for the asking.

So I began to pray in ways that I never did before. One day at our church, all alone, in the dampness of a flood of tears, I cried out to our God, “What do you want me to do with the rest of my life?” Desperate for just about anything, what was going to happen was truly the farthest thing I could have ever imagined. I clearly and undoubtedly heard the Holy Spirit direct me to “show my people how much I love them.” When I asked for clarification, I received none. I guess that’s how God works. I received the directive; the “how-to” was up to me. 

Through extensive prayer, I found myself trying to grab hold of my new reality, that I was now a widower, like it or not. But then it clicked. A widower. I’m no longer married. Could God possibly want me to apply for the priesthood? This was too crazy to believe. The more I tried to disprove this in my own mind, the more I felt his gentle calling to pursue this. So, I mustered up the strength and courage to talk about this to my pastor and the director of the diaconate for our Diocese. Knowing that a deacon reports directly to the bishop, I was advised to make an appointment to speak to Bishop Scharfenberger. His complete approval and wonderful conversation at our meeting, told me to begin the application process and talk to Father Anthony ­Ligato, vicar for vocations, for further instructions. The application process is a very extensive process, which included the stipulation that I wait for one full year from the death of my wife before my application would be finalized, a policy I completely support. 

I’m not 25 years old as a lot of men are when they start this process, but I was convinced that this is what God was calling me to do, so, I figured, let’s get started. I began my seminary work in August of last year. I will continue my seminary training and classes this month. I received a phone call and a letter explaining that my many years of diaconate experience and my master’s degree from St. Bernard’s School of Theology would move me along on the journey to priestly ordination. Recently, I received wonderful news. I was told that I will be ordained to the priesthood on June 15, 2019, at 11 a.m. at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Albany.

I guess I could sum this all up with the following: Our God loves us so very much. His ways are not always our ways, but when we listen to Him, miracles can happen. God loves you so very much. At my first Mass following ordination, I’ll show you just how much.