CATHOLIC VOICES

Teresa Pitt Green is co-founder, along with Luis A. Torres, Jr., of Spirit Fire, an association of survivors of clergy abuse that uses restorative justice — which brings together the many people who are harmed by sexual abuse — to promote healing and reconciliation within the Church. Mike Matvey of the Evangelist talked with Pitt Green, who is also a member of Bishop Edward B. Scharfenberger’s Task Force on sexual abuse and the head of the Northern Virginia Human Trafficking Task Force, about restorative justice, wounded healers and the future of the Church in the wake of the scandals for this latest installment of Catholic Voices. Catholic Voices features a wide range of women and men in the Capital Region and appears periodically in the paper and online.

TE: How did Spirit Fire start?

PG:  (Luis and I) are both survivors of clergy abuse as children. We had both been doing work with the Church independently for about 15 years by the time we met. We were introduced by Jasmine Salazar, vice chancellor in the Diocese of Brooklyn, who serves as victims’ assistance coordinator. She knew of my work, and we were on friendly terms. For example, I had been editor of the Healing Voices (Magazine) for four years. I had been speaking within and beyond my diocese, so she knew of me.  Luis had, over time, come to trust and work with Jasmine, and at one point she told him what he was trying to do was bigger than a single diocese. That’s when she suggested he meet me. You could say that the rest is history because there has been such a simpatico in terms of our approach. It really congealed in November of 2018 when we were asked (by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops) to give survivor testimony during the prayer service before all the bishops (at the general assembly) in the United States. We both spoke then and since then we have been honored to work with a select group of bishops and other Church leaders to promote healing and reconciliation that includes survivor voices and trauma-informed ministries.  

TE: How did you turn your survivor experience into this positive healing process?

PG: As a survivor, you experience not just your own agony but also how it wounds your family. In some cases, it puts families so deeply in pain that the rift lasts for years. But as members share their experiences and move through bringing out the truth they can draw closer; in many, many cases, sadly, abuse of one member, even when it is kept hidden fractures family; it fractures family safety, trust and relationships. Some families can’t come back from that. These are lived experiences of survivors, and the more I worked with survivors, the more I just saw it has a state of being. In fact, in a virtual Survivor Advisory Panel, we have presented for the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors these very concerns, and we were told that the Commission was moved by these stories and concern and that Pope Francis will begin to meet with families together, not just solitary survivors.

But the fact about abuse is that you don’t get away without the family being hurt, the original as well as the primary family. It’s impossible not to see, unlike other people encountering new acquaintances, that survivors face the dilemma of holding back defining realities of our own life stories, because of shame if the pain is unresolved and the wound is unhealed, or because it’s going to hurt somebody you care about. I have the strange expertise, you could say, of surviving a difficult life built on terrible abuse, so I engage with many survivors of abuse of many types including human trafficking.

It’s consistently true that not only are families staggered by the abuse of any one member, but whole systems of people are hurt. That would apply to parishes, too. The Church is family. The parish is a family hurt when one of its members is hurt — or lost. I hear that from people, I experience it working with people everywhere I go. In my own odd calling, one of my personal outreaches has been to clergy and seminarians and deacons. For those ordained to serve, the hurt is great. They suffer with their people, and they suffer as people.  So it can be a powerful antidote when a survivor and a priest or a clergy are able to connect as friends in Christ, and I emphasize in Christ. We work in relationships, or I should say, we offer relationships in Christ to bring healing. Some accept. Many reject ... for now, but every one of those relationships heal the Church.

TE: Tell us more about the idea of ‘wounded healers?’

PG: For one thing your Bishop (Bishop Scharfenberger) is a wounded healer in the true sense of the term as used by the wonderful New York State contemplative, Henri Nouwen, who wrote a book on wounded healers saying Church leadership couldn’t bring people out of their wounds into the healing of Christ unless they really dealt with their own woundedness. In speaking with Bishop Ed, I can tell he understands our pain and is not afraid of our pain. Most people recoil, even most clergy. He is not afraid to encounter us as wounded and to hear the wound while he listens for the light inside us. He is a true wounded healer. I think that is an ability, that spiritual leadership in pastoral care, is what will heal the Church, and that is why I do what I do, and why I am blessed to know Bishop Ed. Carl Jung talks about how  we’re wounded in relationship; we’re wounded by the relationship and there really isn’t a complete healing until we are healed in relationships. That doesn’t have to be with the abuser, but that’s why we do rely on restorative justice, which is a process of bringing all voices to the table to talk and to hear and together to find a way forward. Considering that the Eucharist is, in one sense, a feast, there are, as Bishop Ed has written, empty seats. That is what Spirit Fire is about; individuals who have been wounded alone but in groups and systems completing their healing — not necessarily returning to the Church, mind you, but finding closure and healing.

TE: And the importance of restorative justice?

PG: Restorative justice is important because the current paradigms being used are working within their own set of principles, but the wound suffered by individuals and families and communities remains in place to varying degrees. For example, there are a number of paradigms through which the world and the Church community has processed this horrible tragedy that has happened to me and families like mine across our Church. One of them is a legal paradigm, which is seeking justice through court and law. This has been important to break through denial and secrecy, and to help change the body of law not to mention help survivors be heard and find justice. But we, as survivors, see that jurisprudence has its limits in terms of healing to the degree we have been hurt, and this paradigm also is limited to defining our pain and our redress to a dollar sign. ... After the lawsuit is settled, survivors are still facing a wound, sometimes re-wounded by the legal process, and resume the healing journey for years to come.

Then there is also the therapeutic paradigm. That is a very, very important … Therapists can be phenomenal healers, but we are not solely psychological creatures. We are not solely emotion and memories. Just like we are not the diagnoses therapy can affix to some of us, we are still full human beings created in the image of God. Therapy will fall short of that full self. What I do know from my experience is that beyond therapy, and beyond any quest for justice as embodied in law, and beyond all the reading you can do to heal, and all the self-help and the journeys we take ... at the end of the day … we all still need a Savior. The courts cannot deliver that. The therapeutic process cannot deliver that. One would wish the Church could deliver that, but for many who are wounded by the Church she may have become too painful to engage and indeed an impediment to connecting with God – not a safe path. God is still there. Waiting. Jesus is still Savior, even if His Church has failed utterly.

TE: How difficult it is to ask a victim of sexual abuse to help the institution that victimized them help that institution heal?

PG: We never ask anybody to do what we are doing because it is really, really hard. For example, the Catholic University of America invited us to host an event there in May of this year. We invited 20 bishops and brought 20 Spirit Fire survivors to a day-long event the university hosted on its campus in Washington, D.C. We told the wonderful bishops, who were brave enough to attend, that this was our gift to them. We assured them that we were not there to be helped by them, but were there to help them find new ways of offering pastoral support to survivors in their own dioceses, as well as to families and parishes. Now, that means they are free to ask any question, to say anything at all, and it can hurt, especially at the beginning when they are asking questions they have never been able to ask a survivor directly, or when we talk about one theme or topic and they had no idea what they commonly say — with good intent — is the worst thing possible. After events like those, Spirit Fire regroups together, privately, to help each other, to care for each other. It is quite powerful and full of grace, but very hard. We call it the “quiet price.” Believe me, we don’t ask people to do that, but we ourselves are honored and amazed for the privilege to use the harm done to us to bring grace and healing to others.

But we have never issued an “invitation” to be a wounded healer in terms of a kind of missionary. Like any missionary, I suppose, you have to be ready to encounter a lot of resistance and even anger before the healing Spirit moves in hearts. That’s normal. It’s not really personal, but for many survivors that would not be helpful at all. No, we are not asking anybody anything except to help them heal spiritually. And we will help them. We do help each other. However, what happens is, sometimes God asks some of them for more. He puts a call on their hearts. And right now we work in some way with over about 100 survivors around the world doing similar things, and then, of course, all the others who have been hurt and are healing and wish to help others heal. If they get involved, it is between God and them. We just are here to help that call and that response flourish.

TE: How did you get involved with Bishop Scharfenberger?

PG: It’s a funny story. Luis had worked with Bishop Ed when he was still a priest in Brooklyn and they were both serving on the  diocesan review board that reviewed allegations against clergy. By the time I met Luis, I think they had almost a 20-year friendship. And about two years ago, when Luis and I were still starting to explore what bishops we wanted to work with, Luis said, ‘You have to meet Bishop Ed.’ And I kept thinking, I don’t really want to meet a bishop. We were working with only a few, who were very carefully chosen bishops, and I had no idea who this bishop was. Luis basically kicked me north out of Virginia to meet Bishop Ed. Everything went wrong with the trip ... (but) I staggered into Albany in time for having a dinner with Bishop Ed. I’m a survivor. I don’t trust easily. I don’t mind not trusting easily, and yet there I was astonished how this bishop, who was so much more like a parish priest, had already been considering all the issues Luis and I were working on. Bishop Ed also passed every litmus test I could imagine, from his appreciation of survivors and their families’ dilemmas and struggles, to the wounds borne by priests, to the need for tending the spiritual wounds of abuse.

TE: What type of services does Spirit Fire offer?

PG: We work in dioceses only where we have the direct phone number or text of the bishop or major superior so, if there is an issue, we don’t go through anyone else. Then if that works out, we do all sorts of things. We have a lot of books and resources that are free online. We have programs for parishes, and parish clusters through lay people. We work a lot with priests to hearten and then help them help their parishes. We support ongoing growth in review boards, seminaries and within child protection and victims’ ministries. We work one-on-one. We are planning to work with Deacon Gary J. Riggi as he develops, at Bishop Ed’s invitation, a Ministry for Hope and Healing for all survivors of abuse and trauma — including but not just for survivors of clergy abuse.  Much of what we do is training and formation, to grow the capacity for trauma-informed ministry in our Church … We have a lot of different retreats and workshops for survivors of different types. A lot of survivors don’t necessarily want to have a therapeutic retreat but a wellness retreat; three days on how to get better. My particular focus is trauma-informed pastoral development primarily with priests and ministries, but Luis and I have day-long events, where a whole community can come together and learn about trauma-informed ministry. As I mentioned in May 2019, Catholic University hosted us and we brought together 20 bishops, including (Boston) Cardinal Sean (Patrick O’Malley), who opened with us and wonderful Bishop Ed supported us spiritually and gave one of the reflections as well to his brother bishops. And then this May 2020, between May 1-6, we have been funded by social entrepreneurship groups, not the Church, to hold a 24-hour, non-stop, Spirit Fire’s first worldwide conference. It’s virtual, on faith and abuse, so it will be in 20 different languages broadcast around the world.

TE: Many Catholics are at their breaking point with the scandal, what can you say to them?

PG: On a personal basis, that question is about the most authentic anyone can ask, and I am asked it all the time. Here’s the fundamental reality with abuse that applies to every single Catholic right now. It is a whole system of pathology and evil and enabling whether it is in the Church or not. Facing abuse in our Church, it’s simple if not easy. You are either going to go deeper into your God and your relationship with Jesus or you’re not. And it matters little whether you walk out of the Church or stay in the Church, what matters is that you don’t get through this without supernatural help. And if this is challenging you, then it’s challenging you to be closer to Him and to understand better — to not look away from — the world He died to save.

 As far as people telling me they are thinking of leaving the Church — or struggling with staying – you won’t find much comprehension in me. I just don’t get it. I was abused by multiple priests, I was treated terribly by a bunch of very powerful Catholic people, and a lot of lay people, for decades. I crawled back to the Church. I sat in a car in a parking lot outside following the Mass in a missal with guard dogs, I was too anxious to step inside. So, I cannot fathom why anyone would opt to leave the Church if they can make it through Mass without having an anxiety attack. I am back in the Church because I crawled back in because my encounter was with evil. Abuse is evil. Evil harmed me.

 I have established my life on the rock of truth that Jesus already vanquished the evil that essentially destroyed my childhood, wounded my family, and hobbled me in very real terms the rest of my life. I am Catholic because Jesus is Victor. Everyone else tries and some really get it right — for the limits of what they have to offer. This is what I mean about going deeper into faith — the Resurrection either happened or we are fools. Evil either triumphed in my life when I was in grade school — or it did not. I happen to think very highly of the Eucharist in those terms and everything else comes secondary. That’s my best answer to Catholics at their breaking point.