A daughter’s disability, a mother’s love

Cinthya-Ruby, 23, lies still in her bed at St. Margaret’s Center in Albany. Her eyes wander around her room at the nursing facility for children and young adults, observing stuffed animals, family photos and a poster of Latin pop singer Enrique Iglesias, one of her favorite artists.

Cinthya (last name withheld for privacy) was 18 when she contracted an illness that left her with brain damage and permanent disabilities. Visitors may see her as handicapped, but her mother, Elena, says: “I see her triumphing. I see her studying, walking, having a family — and what I most see is her giving testimony to what she’s been through.”

The late Mormon leader Boyd Packer once remarked, “There are few things more powerful than the faithful prayers of a righteous mother.” Elena is one mother who believes her faith in God could create a miracle.

“In the most difficult moments of our lives, that’s when God tests Himself in us, when He’s closest to us,” Elena said in an interview with The Evangelist.

She was accompanied by Sister Grace Diaz, SNJM, a close family friend and pastoral associate from the Shrine Church of Our Lady of the Americas in Albany (a mission of Blessed Sacrament parish), who served as a translator for the conversation.

How it began

Elena “is an extraordinary human being,” Sister Grace stated. “Their lives changed overnight.”

In 2012, Cinthya graduated from New World High School in the Bronx. Her mother described her as a “very happy child who was intelligent” and had “a strong character.” Cinthya was working at restaurant and looking at colleges, planning to enroll in the fall.

Shortly after graduating, Cinthya complained about a bad headache. Elena wanted to take her to a doctor, but her daughter said it was nothing. When the headache continued, they visited multiple physicians, who all assured the family that Cinthya was fine.

Finally, Elena found a doctor who tested Cinthya’s blood, urine and spinal fluid. “They said she has an infection that’s going to her brain, and she needs to sleep in the hospital for one to two days,” her mother recalled.

It was frustrating, she said, because the doctors did not know what exact illness her daughter had.

By the time Cinthya got to a hospital room, she was complaining of stomach and back pains, as well. At 3 a.m., she had a seizure. Doctors put her in a medically-induced coma and placed her on a respirator. Still, nobody knew what was making Cinthya sick.

In God’s hands

That day, Elena took her eldest daughter to the chapel at the hospital and prayed. “I said, ‘God, Your will be done.’ All I could do is put myself in God’s hands.”

The following week, Cinthya was placed in the Intensive Care Unit. Elena continued to pray. Members of Elena’s parish in the Bronx heard about Cinthya’s sickness and gathered at her hospital bed to pray, too. Elena said before she knew it, 30 to 40 people were there.

That very night, the doctors called with a diagnosis for Cinthya: a rare case of meningitis and tuberculosis.

“That was when I began to see God’s intervention,” Elena said.

Physicians said Cinthya would never walk or speak again. Elena says doctors cannot decide her daughter’s future: “The person who has the final word is God.”

Cinthya was transferred to a children’s nursing facility in the Bronx, but aged out when she turned 21. The only other place Elena knew of was St. Margaret’s Center in Albany. Cinthya was transferred there.

Moving north

To care for her daughter, Elena had to move away from her five other children in the Bronx and live alone in Albany. Her husband is no longer in the picture, which leaves her eldest daughter, who’s 27, to care for her younger siblings and pay her mother’s rent and finances.

“What we were living through, it affected the whole family,” said Elena. “My two oldest daughters had to leave school to work, I had to leave five kids in the Bronx [and] I did not know anyone in Albany.”

Caring for Cinthya is Elena’s full-time job now. Every day, the dedicated mother takes the bus from her apartment in downtown Albany to St. Margaret’s. Sometimes, she arrives a bit later, because she’s been praying.

Some days, Cinthya is alert; other times, she is quiet. Elena helps to put on Cinthya’s arm and leg braces in the morning while a nurse starts her feeding tube. Elena sings to her daughter, reads to her, gives her massages and tells her that she is a warrior.

Supported by faith

Since moving, Elena said she has found a great deal of help from parishioners at the Shrine Church and at retreats offered by the parish. On one retreat, she learned that “you have to let God be God, and have to let God do His work....God is with us at all times, and we have to open our hearts and give our hearts to God.”

Elena’s children visit Albany on their days off from school, or whenever they get the chance. Like many moms, Elena cooks a feast for her kids each time they come and reminds them of how proud she is of them.

For Cinthya, her time at St. Margaret’s has brought small but precious progress. Since coming to the facility, she opens her eyes more; she has started speech therapy.

Elena is hopeful that God will help her daughter heal. “I haven’t gone to God and said, ‘Why are you doing this?’ I said, ‘What should I learn from this?’”

“[God] is full of love,” the mom declared. “He is not a punishing God.”