Workshop topic: Discipline

"You can't parent the same as everyone else," said Cherie Plante, "and you can't parent all children in the same way."

Mrs. Plante, mother of two, counselor and director of religious education at Christ Sun of Justice parish in Troy, will discuss parenting at an upcoming workshop titled, "The Discipline of Parenting."

Coming out even

At the workshop, Mrs. Plante hopes to provide parents with discipline tips, an understanding of child development, and the opportunity to share their concerns and triumphs as parents.

In recent years, trends encouraged parents to give more power to the child, with children making more decisions. "A few years ago," she said, "we swung the other way, and we were ruled by the child's whims."

Now parenting experts are encouraging parents to set limits and make decisions. "Kids are craving direction," Mrs. Plante said. "The parent is the adult, and sometimes you have to tell the child what to do."

Feelings

Just as parents expect their children to treat them with respect, adults must be respectful of children. "When parents make mistakes, the first thing they should do is apologize," she said.

Parents should also avoid labeling their children. While it's not bad to label a child for positive qualities, it is better in the long run to compliment them for positive behavior. Negative labeling can be harmful.

"What your mother or father says is very important," she said. "Derogatory comments are damaging. Words are powerful. If you're told long enough that you're stupid, eventually you'll stop trying. Put-downs stick with you a long time."

Mrs. Plante said parents need to be able to separate the feelings they have for their child from the feelings they have about a child's behavior. "Just because I love my child doesn't mean I like everything they do," she said.

("The Discipline of Parenting" will be held at the Consultation Center in Albany, Feb. 24, 7-9 p.m. Cost is $10. To register or get additional information, call 489-4431.)

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