Workshop explores parish roles

BY KATE BLAIN
ASSISTANT EDITOR

Walk into any parish meeting, and you'll see participants who have "official" power, those who unofficially run things, and even those who are acting out family roles learned during childhood.

This, says Rev. Thomas Konopka, is how "systems theory" affects parish life -- something he will explore in a workshop titled "The Parish as a Family System," May 12 at this year's Spring Enrichment.

Father Konopka is sacramental minister at St. Clare's parish in Colonie and a therapist with the diocesan Consultation Center in Albany. He told The Evangelist that anytime four people meet to discuss parish administration or ministries, each brings their connections to family, friends, workplaces and the community.

That can complicate things when it comes to making decisions: for example, one participant may oppose another's choices, but because the person expects not to be heard, he will go to a third person who is more likely to agree. An unhealthy "triangle" is set up where people are not talking to one another directly.

"All of that becomes maladaptive," said Father Konopka, comparing the situation to a family where a child knows his father will say no to his requests, so he approaches his mother instead.

In any group, the therapist explained, people are always looking for balance. If they feel there is a threat to their familiar system, they will fight to keep the status quo.

During his workshop, Father Konopka hopes to provide strategies for people to recognize their roles in parish groups and change the responses that may not be benefiting their parishes.

This is especially important during times of change, which all parishes in the Albany Diocese are currently experiencing during the "Called to be Church" pastoral planning process.

In another workshop, "Staying Sane in a Changing Church," the therapist will further explain how parishes can deal with changes "in a way that, when we get to the end, we're not getting all this anger and frustration."

He pointed out that, despite differences, "no one exists alone; we're all interdependent on one another. It's like a spiderweb: Something happens in one place, and it ripples out."

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