Workshop explores 'toxic thoughts' and how to end them

Be prepared to change the way you see yourself, says Sister Patricia Mills, SJNM.

In her upcoming workshop, "Telling Yourself the Truth: Misbelief Therapy," she aims to help participants combat the negative self-talk and toxic thoughts that sometimes crop up in the minds of adults during lean months, difficult situations or times of crisis.

Engaging in negative self-talk can be as simple as calling yourself a failure instead of acknowledging that you made a mistake, said Sister Patricia. Similar phrases include "I'm no good," "There's no hope for me," "Everyone is laughing at me" and other "angry or depressing scripts," she explained.

'Toxic thoughts'

Negative self-talk occurs when adults "develop unreal expectations of how things and people should be," Sister Patricia explained, and become disappointed by the way things actually are.

"I call them 'toxic thoughts' because they're poisonous," she warned. "They poison our mind, and the poison seeps into our feelings and our bodies. I think most people have been thinking negatively so long that they don't realize how negative they have become."

People who engage in large amounts of negative self-talk, she said, "can get themselves very angry and depressed, and that's going to reflect in their relationships. Very likely, it's going to spill over into work."

Solutions

Getting rid of these misbeliefs is a process of talking to yourself and to others, explained Sister Patricia.

"The first thing you do is to locate and name negative self-talk," she said. "The second step is you separate the true elements from the false."

For example, she said, instead of convincing yourself that you're not loved after a breakup or divorce, you should think of the friends and family that still stand by your side; instead of believing you're a failure at work, look at the projects you've completed over the last year.

Talking to a counselor, friend or spouse can also be helpful, she said.

(Sister Patricia teaches English at the Academy of the Holy Names and serves as a chaplain at St. Peter's Hospital, both in Albany. "Telling Yourself The Truth: Misbelief Therapy" will take place on Oct. 7 and 14, 7-9 p.m., at the Diocesan Pastoral Center in Albany. The fee is $25. Call 489-4431 for information.)

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