Workshop counters holiday stress

The holiday season can conjure up thoughts of Christmas cookies, family get-togethers and special memories -- or feelings of dread and fear.

That's understandable, according to Helen Volk, director of Beyond Clutter, an Albany-based training firm dedicated helping clients simplify and organize their lives.

According to Ms. Volk, the stress of everyday life is great enough. The addition of three major holidays in a six-week period only intensifies the anxiety.

Stressed for time

"I think we become dreadful and anxious because we don't have enough time," she said. "We're stressed as it is. Add the holidays, and there's not enough time."

To help people reclaim the holiday spirit, Ms. Volk is offering a workshop titled "Take Back Christmas: Reclaiming the Holiday Spirit in a Consumer Society." It is designed to teach participants how to cut the stress of modern holiday celebrations and to put participants in touch with the spiritual aspect of the Christmas season.

The workshop is especially geared to those who want to teach their children that the focus of Christmas is not the number of gifts they receive, and to those who are fed up with the waste, debt and bills associated with the new year.

Planning first

The first step to reclaiming the holidays is careful planning. Ms. Volk advises people to begin to plan for the holidays at an appropriate time, which differs from person to person. Some people begin planning for the next year at the after-Christmas sales, while others wait until the day before. She believes that an adequate time to begin is after Halloween.

"Our primary problem is that we wait too long," she explained. "We spend more money because we feel guilty. We burn all of our energy and don't have time for meaningful activities."

She advises carefully choosing celebrations. Rather than trying to celebrate all aspects of the season, she tells people to choose the ones that have the most personal meaning to them.

Religious element

For many people, the special meaning is religious in nature. "For most, it is the religious celebration of Jesus' birth that is the priority," she said.

That meaning of Christmas, however, has been lost amid today's materialistic society. "Previous generations had their own stressors, but they didn't have the problem of 'stuff,'" she explained. "They didn't have the variety" of consumer goods.

Also complicating life today are credit cards and mass media, Ms. Volk stated. The bombardment of the media on the importance of material goods, combined with access to credit cards to attain those goods, creates different circumstances from previous generations.

Parents' role

It is especially difficult for parents during the holiday season. Children model adult behavior, she explained, which can lead to materialistic children. However, it is possible to raise children without the expectations of lavish holidays.

"We can raise them to be reasonable. They need to know your expectations and limitations, and this can't just be at Christmas," she advises. Parents must also look at their gift-giving habits for other holidays and birthdays, as well as how they spend their free time and vacations.

The first step to raising less materialistic children is for parents to change their own behavior and expectations. It is also important for parents to realize that children are under a lot of pressure.

(The workshop will be held Nov. 23, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., at the Priory in Chestertown. Registration by Nov. 16 is $46. Registration after that date is $48. To register, call 494-3733.)

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