Workshop aims to aid couples' communication skills

"Communication is the skill most couples need to strengthen," she said. "Marriages can have a lot of distractions. We can find better ways of communicating or having fun."

To provide those ways, Counseling for the Laity is offering a workshop titled, "Strengthening Relationships." The two-evening course helps couples look at how they talk, listen and relate to one another, and how to improve these skills.

Skills for couples

According to Sister Anne, it has become increasingly difficult for married couples to stay together. "We don't have good role models," she said. "We need to look at how to build a healthy relationship."

The challenges facing couples can be great. Money is a problem, especially as many companies are downsizing. "Money will always be a big stumbling block," she said. "It's always an issue."

Another problem is determining what a family is. Gone are the days when family meant a mother, father and children, she said. Today, there are blended families, step-families, single-parent families by choice (people who choose to have children on their own), and single-parent families by divorce and death, just to name a few.

Support needed

"There was a time when people stayed together no matter what," Sister Anne said. "We've made it easy to NOT stay together."

She explained that in some cases in the past, it probably wasn't good that some couples stayed together, for instance when there was abuse. However, society held couples accountable for their commitments. That has changed, she said.

Disposable society

She points out that relationships are bound to change as each individual grows. "People change," she stated. "Someone in their twenties is different from what they'll be in their forties. You can end up looking at a stranger."

The workshop can help couples to develop the skills they need to overcome those pressures, she said, by focusing on communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, dealing with stress and positive attitudes. The Myers-Briggs, a personality inventory, will be administered and interpreted to enhance the couple's understanding of and acceptance of each other.

Intimate moments

Other areas that will be discussed are values and spirituality. According to Sister Anne, if there is a conflict in values, a relationship might not grow. For example, if one spouse enjoys music and the other never attends a concert with them, problems can ensue as one spouse begins to grow in their interests without the support of their husband or wife.

Sister Anne said it isn't necessary for couples to do everything together; rather, they should participate in the other's interests from time to time.

Spirituality is often overlooked in relationships. She explained that spirituality involves more than going to church. Rather, it is determining what the higher being is for the relationship and how spiritual needs of the individuals will be addressed in the relationship.

(The Strengthening Relationships Workshop will be held in January, April and June at the Pastoral Center, 40 North Main Ave in Albany, 6:30-9:30 p.m. The cost is $60 a couple. To register, call 453-6625.)

(11-28-96)

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