Woman feels called to cloistered life

Michele Armstrong first thought of a religious vocation when she was ten and visiting her aunt at the Abbey of Our Lady of the Mississippi in Dubuque, Iowa.

"I remember watching the sisters on the hill, watering flowers, and the thought came into my head: 'I'm going to be here someday,'" said the parishioner of Corpus Christi parish in Round Lake.

That "someday" began last Saturday, when she left to live a life of prayer and contemplation as a Trappistine sister in Dubuque.

Ms. Armstrong, 29, said, "It's been a very long journey for me. I've needed to sit and grow with it. I needed to say, 'Okay, God, I don't know what you want me to do, but I will surrender to your will.'"

Growth in faith

The Armstrong family came to Corpus Christi when Michele was three. She grew up in the parish with faith formation classes, youth ministry and the involvement of her parents.

Summer and holiday visits were paid to the Abbey, where her aunt was a sister. The aunt became a spiritual role model for young Michele.

After earning her bachelor's degree at Siena College in Loudonville, where she lived, Ms. Armstrong returned to Clifton Park, "ready to take on the role of a full, participating member" of her home parish: singing in the choir, holding a position on the pastoral council and helping out with the young adult group.

Calling

Ms. Armstrong dated, lived in an apartment, hung out with friends, went to graduate school at The University at Albany and became a medical social worker.

But, another voice still whispered to her. She was cultivating her prayer life, searching for a relationship with God and learning to temper what she called her "stubbornness" with a gradual realization that she needed to listen to what God had planned for her.

She remembers sitting in the Corpus Christi pews as a teenager, listening to the Gospels and feeling "called to something; I just didn't know what. I knew I needed to go to college first and grow up and learn who I was. I needed to be emotionally mature."

God at work

Being a social worker who advocated for ill clients and their families challenged her.

"I learned early on that it wasn't me doing the work," she explained. "There was no way I would have had the strength to face some of the difficult situations if it really wasn't because of God that I was doing it. I loved these people in front of me. It was really hard work. I had to say, 'I'm going to get out of the way and let God work through me.'"

Hand-in-hand with those thoughts came those of the abbey. "Every time I went back, it was the same thing: I really felt at home," she said.

Decision

Making the decision to become a nun felt freeing, Ms. Armstrong recalled, and gave her a "deep, inner sense of peace. You hear God's voice, and you think about leaving behind family, friends, relationships, and you think, 'Wow, this can't really be me.'

"But I know that God is faithful, and God is going to take care of me, and He is not going to leave me alone in this. It will be a peaceful thing...a beautiful, joyful thing."

Ms. Armstrong faces years of preparation before becoming a fully professed sister. A spiritual advisor will accompany her throughout that time as she takes classes and learns about the rule of St. Benedict.

Leaving

Ms. Armstrong told The Evangelist that "it's not hard leaving behind the material things. The hardest thing for me is leaving behind my work as a social worker, my parish, my family and friends.

"In this order, you don't come home. I'm not going to go back home again. It's hard, but it is worth it. This is God's grace helping me through, because this is way beyond anything I'm capable of."

Ms. Armstrong, known to friends as someone who "can't stay quiet," will be required to enter into silence. But it's a "balanced, healthy silence," she said. "You have to learn a whole way of relating to people. I know I am going to struggle with that, and I will learn how to do that."

Something more

Ms. Armstrong is grateful to her mother for her support, and to the people of Corpus Christi who have been praying for her and who gave her a special blessing at a recent Mass.

"I feel such a part of Corpus Christi, and they're always going to be with me," she said. "I've had a great job, great relationships and friendships, and I love my family.

"But, there is still something missing, something I'm searching for. There's a certain part of me now that knows there's nothing else for me that can even come close to this."

(The Trappistines strictly obey the Rule of St. Benedict and live a silent, cloistered life of contemplation that centers on the Liturgy of the Hours, manual labor, prayer and study of the Scriptures. Although she will no longer be able to be a social worker, Ms. Armstrong is sure the prayers she will offer will affect thousands. "We need people working, and we need people praying," she asserted.)

(5/19/05)