With this merger, I thee wed

By PHYLLIS CARDONA- | Comments: 0 | Leave a comment

PARISH CONSOLIDATION

We are engaged to be merged; so why isn't anyone celebrating? Perhaps it is because we are not used to arranged marriages in our culture and don't know how to break the ice.

Perhaps, because of our cultural imprint about marriage, this feels more like a corporate bail-out than a mutual, loving commitment filled with hope and promise.

We find ourselves in uncharted territory with very few certainties as we smile at each other, knowing only that the wedding date has been set!

How do we get beyond this awkwardness? What are our choices? Perhaps if we put this in a different context, one that is familiar in our culture, we will be able to move ahead. Perhaps if we think of this as a "match.com" introduction, we will be able to begin the dating process.

What do we have in common? Do we share any hopes and dreams on which to build a future together? Can we look at one another and see possibilities, or do we see only differences and deficits? Can we see beyond the absolute necessities to the infinite possibilities? Can we begin this courtship and make choices that will lead to a happy and stable life for all in this new family?

Marriage is about love, about being surprised and delighted with one another. So the first question is, how do we fall in love with one another? Perhaps we should spend some time sharing our hearts with someone we already love - Jesus.

Can we confide our innermost hopes and fears with Jesus? Can we pray to become open rather than oppositional, gentle rather than grabbing at turf, playful rather than possessive, blending rather than banning? Can we pray the psalm, "Create in me a new heart" and allow God to reshape our innermost thoughts and longings to the point where we actually fall in love?

Can we allow our mutual love for Jesus to be the starting point of our love for one another?

A reality of our time is that often each person has already set up their own household. The couple must decide what to take with them and what to sell or give away. This is never easy since we become attached to things and what they represent.

Perhaps this is why scrapbooking has become such a big hobby. We can't possibly keep all the stuff, so we sort through it and keep the important memories in a place of honor and then let go of the objects. Sorting through our stuff together can help us discover our heart's desire and lead us beyond clutter and possessions to a totally new reality.

All of this can sound overwhelming unless we step back and take a breath.

Whenever I allow myself a bit of space and time, I find myself naturally returning to prayer. Prayer helps me want to keep the promises that were made at my baptism.

Prayer helps me want to be part of this community that proclaims Jesus as Lord.

Prayer helps keep me open to the possibilities.

Perhaps we will be as surprised as the disciples were at the Transfiguration when they saw what they could not imagine and loved it so much that they wanted to stay.

(Phyllis Cardona, who holds a master's degree from St. Bernard's School of Theology and Ministry in Albany, lives in Glenmont and is a trustee at St. James in Albany, which is merging next year with St. John/St. Ann's.)

(09/17/09) [[In-content Ad]]