April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
REFLECTION
What makes a family holy?
How do you understand the word "family"? Dad, mom, kids, pets, a suburban middle-class house? Is a single person a family? a widowed or divorced person? a gay couple? an older couple who marry for companionship?
Consider what TV program reflects the reality of your family: "Modern Family," "Roseanne," "Father Knows Best," "Black-ish," "The Simpsons"?
I believe we have come to live in a fractured culture because we no longer hold the same values or even speak the same language. Words have meaning -- but we no longer agree, as a society, about the meaning of basic concepts, words or values we once held in common.
If there is a decline in marriage and family life, it has been blamed on cultural acceptance of same-sex marriage; on divorce (which, though still painful, is easier to obtain and no longer culturally condemned); and on the rise of cohabitation without civil approval or sacrament, even among Christians.
It is always easy to place blame. Yet, we all know people -- often, our children -- who are living together prior to marriage, or people who are divorced. Maybe you are one of these. How do parents turn their backs on their children? And whether or not we realize it, we also know gay couples, even some who have adopted children.
Have we been under an illusion of the reality of marriage and family life in our culture? We're ignorant of marriage traditions and the understanding of family in other cultures and societies. American values today are rooted not in a common cultural or religious tradition, but in the self-enclosed universe of the individual - the "live and let live" view of life.
What does this mean for Christians living in a society and culture which is not Christian - though, misleadingly, continues to bear the veneer of Christianity?
Into this human situation and in this Christmas season, the Church places before us a family: Joseph, Mary and their son, Jesus.
What kind of family is this? Joseph is a manual laborer whose pedigree is royal, of the House of David. A seemingly quiet man, Scripture records not one word from Joseph; he drops from sight in the story. Does he die, leaving Mary a widow and single parent? Are there other children, as the Gospel of Mark may indicate? If so, what is their role in this family?
Mary, a Jewess, is from peasant stock. During their betrothal, there are shadows of betrayal and divorce circling overhead like a hawk: Mary is pregnant and Joseph is not the father. What was the conversation like between Joseph and Mary? What convinced Joseph to accept Mary and claim the child as his own?
The government comes to know of the presence of the child and wants Him eliminated, resulting in a massacre. To save the child, the couple is forced to flee from their homeland and seek refuge in a foreign land, Egypt, which for Jews holds deep memories of slavery as well as wonder. After years, the family returns to their homeland and settles down.
Except for one know-it-all adolescent episode, Jesus, their son, lives quietly until He appears as an adult. Having rejected Joseph's way of life, He takes on the role of an itinerant rabbi and is known as a healer, seemingly never to return home again.
Some people question whether He is the promised Messiah, a concept that embraces both religious and political spheres. The state did not eliminate Jesus as a child. As an adult, He is now executed by the state, disgraced.
Why is this family called "holy"? There is something very ordinary about them - yet they embrace many of the burdens of family life in any age.
The family of Joseph, Mary and Jesus is fractured, like our families. They struggle with making ends meet and, at times, not understanding each other. They have "skeletons in the closet" that are made public on Calvary. Like our families, they pray -- imperfectly, I expect, but trusting in the God of their ancestors, in promises made and yet to be fully realized.
Might it be that this mixture of struggle and fidelity is holiness?
(Father Mickiewicz is pastor of St. Mary's parish in Oneonta.)[[In-content Ad]]
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