Volunteers provide respite for Alzheimer's caregivers

Shirley Duquette can't chat with visitors any more. In fact, said her husband, Homer, "I don't think she realizes who they are."

But Mr. Duquette does. When a parishioner of St. Bernard's Church in Cohoes arrives to sit with Shirley for a couple of hours so he can take a break from caring for her, he can't stop thanking them.

"They've been the greatest people -- not only for me, but for other people in need," he boasted.

Care teams

Eight St. Bernard's parishioners currently volunteer for the Alzheimer's Care Team program, sponsored by the Marjorie Doyle Rockwell Center (MDRC) in Cohoes. It is a regional care center for persons with Alzheimer's disease run by Northeast Health. Catholics make up the majority of the program's volunteers.

Care teams simply visit and support families with a member who has dementia and is living at home. Sister Margaret Totten, CSJ, parish minister for St. Bernard's, organizes the group.

The program got started a few years ago, she recalled, when she did Communion services there. "They came to us, hoping we would reach out to other denominations as well," to find volunteers for a care team program, she said.

Since then, the group has expanded to include parishioners of Our Lady of the Assumption Church in Latham and non-Catholics.

Serving others

The volunteers serve two Cohoes families, the Duquettes and a single woman with dementia whose live-in caregiver needs support.

Twice a week, a volunteer spends about two hours sitting with one of the patients while her caregiver buys groceries, goes out to dinner or just gets a respite from providing care. Every six weeks, all the volunteers meet in St. Bernard's rectory to talk about their experiences.

"I have friends who have that disease," mused volunteer Ron Bissell. "It's a terrible, debilitating disease. My thought was, if I could help just a few hours a week, it would help them a little bit. I'm a retired guy, and I have some time."

Ironically, Mr. Bissell and Mr. Duquette had been friends before the program started, but the volunteer hadn't realized his friend's wife had Alzheimer's disease.

Work of mercy

Making sure Mrs. Duquette is safe while her husband goes bowling or sees friends at the Cohoes Senior Center "is like the Corporal Works of Mercy," Mr. Bissell mused. "'Feed the hungry; visit the prisoners' -- it must fit in there somewhere."

The program's existence has given Mr. Duquette a bit of peace. When the volunteers visit, "I get away from the tension and the depression," he told The Evangelist. "Nobody knows about it until you go through one of these things."

Isolation, he said, used to give him too much time to worry about his wife's condition and her future. Now, he likes to use his "break time" to sell 50/50 tickets to support the Cohoes Senior Center -- something Mrs. Duquette used to enjoy, as well.

He especially appreciates that he can trust the fellow parishioners he welcomes into his home.

"I can't find the words to thank them enough," he said. "This is why I want to do things for other people."

(2/3/05)