April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
YOUNG FAITH
The complicated sacrament of confirmation
It's not uncommon for youth ministers and parish volunteers to feel frustrated with issues regarding confirmation: a lack of involvement by candidates' families, perfunctory participation from candidates or the misguided belief that the sacrament is like "graduation from church."
But leaders of parish confirmation programs told The Evangelist they feel hopeful and want to make their programs more engaging and transformative for the teenagers.
"I'm optimistic, even though the research says [young Catholics] go off the radar" after they're confirmed, said Julie Darling, a catechist at Our Lady of the Snow parish in Grafton/Berlin. "It's very important to me to ask them exactly why they're there. There are some who grumble a little bit, [but] I find that they are very enthusiastic.
"It's not just trying to stuff all the things they should have learned from kindergarten to high school [into two years]," she continued. "It's accepting them where they are in the faith right now."
Why you're here
Rosemary Gavin, youth ministry coordinator at Our Lady of the Assumption parish in Latham, does lengthy interviews with confirmation candidates. She asks for biographical information, but also asks about how faith fits into their lives, why they want to be confirmed and how they will be changed by the sacrament.
Even teens who indicate it was more their parents' decision than their own can benefit from the process: "I tell them, 'Your willingness to do it for your parents is always seen in a positive light by God.'"
Mrs. Gavin is impressed by the teens' connection to God and making such a major decision. Some say they'll feel closer to God after confirmation; others say it won't affect them "until the big choices come.
"There are so few permanent things in life," Mrs. Gavin said. "The structure of church and stability of church is something that needs to be instilled in them."
Sixteen-year-old Willow Carey, a parishioner of Holy Trinity in Johnstown, was confirmed last month.
"My parents helped me through it, but it was mainly voluntary," she told The Evangelist. "I wanted to become stronger in my faith. It's a new start, the final stage of preparation and the beginning stage of freedom - to do what I want to do in my faith."
Willow has considered marriage or religious life as possible vocations and plans to become a lector or a eucharistic minister soon.
Not graduation
Gabe Rosmarino and Ian Caffrey, 16-year-olds from Holy Spirit parish in Gloversville, were planning to get more involved in their parish by acting as peer mentors at a retreat and teaching younger faith formation students.
"If your parents make you do it, it's like 'confirmation graduation,'" Gabe said. "If you really develop your faith, it's like graduation into adulthood."
The boys enjoyed Holy Spirit's evening confirmation prep classes, community service projects and a retreat where people gave inspiring testimonies.
"You might doubt your faith, and [then] you look at what God has done for them," Gabe remarked. "That's probably been one of the greatest experiences I had."
He was initially nervous about making his confirmation because he knew he hadn't always behaved morally. "Then you're surprised that these people have gone through the same things."
Ian also benefited from hearing friends' stories: "These people become your family. It's a loving environment. There's no judgment at all."
Their youth minister, Ann Marie Simonson, says the relational part of confirmation preparation comes before the instructional.
Keep coming back
"Kids feel welcome," she said. "They know they're loved. They know they're safe. We gain their trust. You have to be real with them; they can tell whether you genuinely care for them."
Mrs. Simonson's team of adults who do confirmation prep make themselves available to talk with the teens and attend their sports games, plays and recitals.
Mrs. Simonson has had a different experience from youth ministers who complain about engaging their teenagers: Many of her confirmands become lay ministers. The most recent class begged her to hold a lock-in weeks after they were finished with preparation.
"I can't get my kids to leave!" she said with a laugh.
The director of religious education at St. Patrick's in Ravena, Brother Ronald Davis, FSD, says the sacrament needs revitalization in the U.S. "We do not allow the confirmand to take enough ownership. It's their program, not ours."
He says educators also need to talk more about the Holy Spirit.
"I have never met anyone making their confirmation who didn't at least realize that they were now brought to a different place in the Church," said Brother Ronald, a catechist for 20 years.
Family role
"Those who are filled with desire [to be confirmed] are rare," he continued. "They're coming, but they're coming with some pressure on them. It's our job as their teachers and mentors to get them to the point where they know this is what they need to do for their own lives. The family is so critical to this."
Marie Ehlinger, director of religious education at Notre Dame-Visitation parish in Schuylerville, feels frustrated when parents don't go to Mass, but push their teenagers to get confirmed.
"What is the importance to the parents? That's probably a question we ought to ask," she said. "But parents are in a tough spot today, too."
Confirmands who start preparation because of their parents often make their own decision to be confirmed once they experience service projects and the retreat: "I think the kids are very proud and very happy," Mrs. Ehlinger said. "We hope they'll go out and they'll touch other people in following Jesus' ways."[[In-content Ad]]
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