Thank you, mom with screaming child

By BARBARA BERGER- | Comments: 0 | Leave a comment

I'd like to say a big "thank you" to the young mom with the screaming child I saw at the 10:30 a.m. Mass at St. John the Baptist Church, Valatie, on the feast of the Holy Family.

I watched your face tighten and your brow furrow as your toddler got louder and louder. You seemed unaware that no one else was bothered by his fussing but you. We could all still hear the priest and focus on his message.

As a mom, having been in that same situation several times, many years ago, I understand the anxiety that comes with wanting our children to be well behaved, especially in church. As parents, we feel that the scowls and looks of disapproval from others are not only directed at our children, but at us as parents, too.

From those three minutes of your struggle, I learned so much about you and what a wonderful parent you are. Eavesdropping (sorry!) on the conversation with your older son, who was about six years old, as you wrestled with your little one, I heard:

Mom: "Let's get going."

Son: "But, mommy, I don't want to go. It's not leaving time."

Mom: "It is for us!"

With that comment, the older child picked up his belongings from the pew and led the way outside.

Here's what I learned:

• You bring your sons to Mass often. The older one actually knows the order of the Mass, evident in his comment, "It's not leaving time." Abundant energy is needed to get three people up, dressed, out the door and into church. I learned you are a faithful Catholic Christian and a mother who has taken seriously the baptismal vows of her children.

• You have made the celebration of Mass enjoyable. Your son did not want to leave. He was fully engaged in the liturgy, watching and listening. (I must give some credit to the liturgical ministers, too!) I wish you would share this parenting technique so that all our children could develop this discipline.

• I see you teaching the ways of the Church to your children. He already knows some of the 10 Commandments: Your son's obedience in rising and leaving was admirable. He understands the commandment, "Honor your mother and father," and showed it through his actions. He knows "Keep holy the Sabbath;" you taught him that one, too.

You are amazing! Don't ever let anyone make you feel less than that. We could all learn so much from watching and imitating your parenting style.

(Ms. Berger is pastoral associate and director of faith formation and youth ministry at St. Michael the Archangel parish in Troy.)[[In-content Ad]]