April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
PERSPECTIVE
Teaching about God's gift of forgiveness
This summer, I came across a folder with a yellowed newspaper clipping, dated 1988. It was a column written by Rev. Andrew Greely after the terrorist destruction of Pam Am Flight 103, which went down over Lockerbie, Scotland. My daughter-in-law's best friend died in that crash.
He wrote that if we cannot learn to forgive, we will forever be the victims of hate and destruction - and terrorism, hate and violence will have the lasting victory.
As a parent, grandparent and catechist, I have been deeply moved by his words and insight. What does it mean to forgive on that level? How does one become a disciple of Jesus Christ who will live and witness this level of forgiveness and reconciliation?
How can this countercultural way of life exist in a world that does not accept responsibility for wrongdoing, has lost the sense of the common good and devalues the sanctity of life? As parents and catechists, how do we build virtue and positive assets in children and young people so they can learn to forgive?
Our journey as disciples is not made in isolation. We are members of families and communities of faith. Through prayer, the love and witness of others, and the sacraments of reconciliation and Eucharist, we are surrounded by the love and forgiveness of God.
Accepting responsibility, learning that decisions and actions have consequences, acknowledging our mistakes and failures, learning to say "I am sorry," asking to be forgiven, taking action to restore a broken relationship or righting a wrong are skills first experienced in the family. They are meant to be taught, reinforced and modeled in family life.
Many children today are not nurtured in a positive family environment and do not develop the assets necessary for a healthy, positive life. However, adults who care about children can teach and reinforce positive values such as forgiveness and reconciliation.
In spite of the assault of media and the glorification of violence, parents, family members, catechists, youth ministers, teachers, coaches, counselors and pastoral ministers make a difference. It does take a village to raise a child - and we are citizens of that village.
There are some positive steps that we each can take to ensure that our children and young people grow into forgiving, reconciling adults who can heal our world:
• Help our children start and end their day with prayer. Teach them to begin each day with a simple prayer of offering each new day to Jesus and asking Him to help us live as disciples in the world. Tape a simple prayer to the bathroom mirror or closet door.
• Accept responsibility for words and actions. Be willing to mentor children through situations involving their choices and decisions. The first step to forgiveness is easier if there is someone to support us.
• Cultivate empathy. This is an essential quality for a moral life. Stories, art, music and dialogue can be steps to help children understand their own feelings and those of others.
• Model reconciliation and forgiveness. Adults need to say, "I am sorry," and, "I forgive you," out loud. Tell the stories of Jesus over and over. Value the sacrament of reconciliation and receive it as a family.
• Review each day. Teaching a simple examination of conscience and act of contrition are essential disciplines in the life of a Christian - and our children deserve to learn and practice this. "Who were the people that Jesus sent into my life today?" "How did I bring love into the world? Where did I fail to do this?" "How can I do this better?"
There have been powerful witnesses of forgiveness in our Church: Popes Francis and John Paul II, the late Cardinal Joseph Bernardin of Chicago and Bishop Howard J. Hubbard. But these acts, however exemplary, cannot be reserved only for extraordinary people. The words and example of Jesus, the faith we profess and the times we live in call each of us to be instruments of healing and reconciliation in the world.
Our children deserve this - and they may be the best hope for the future.
(Mrs. Schrempf is director of the Albany diocesan Office of Evangelization, Catechesis and Family Life.)[[In-content Ad]]
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