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Those dealing with the pain and healing of divorce can feel isolated, lonely and confused. The end of a marriage can damage a person's self-worth, financial security and spiritual wellness, as well as their family and social relationships.

In this jubilee Year of Mercy, Pope Francis reminds us to spread the message of God's steadfast love and faithfulness to those who are hurting. This is the hope of the Albany Diocese's divorced support ministry.

"Detours on the Journey" is a support group offered by the Diocese in parishes for the past three years. The 10-week program offers a place to share the burdens, fears, sadness and anger that are common when a marriage ends. The agreement of confidentiality within the group creates a safe place to explore these deep feelings and gain encouragement to keep going.

As associate director for marriage and family ministry for the Diocese, I have coordinated the Detours on the Journey program. Each group is facilitated by someone who has traveled the journey of their own divorce. This peer-facilitated dynamic offers practical coping skills in a prayer-centered space.

Many participants share their gratitude with my office through email and calls when a group finishes its 10-week cycle. One participant, Jackie (last name withheld), who has attended the group that meets at the Pastoral Center in Albany, shared that going to her first meeting was the "best thing she did for herself."

When Jackie's marriage ended and she relocated to Albany to be closer to her grandchildren, she said that "I was scared because I didn't know anyone. This group helped me process my pain in a safe place with people who shared my experience. Together, we learn how to trust again, see the good in each other, see the good in ourselves and even learn forgiveness." Jackie's experience is echoed by all the other past participants with whom I have spoken. Each is traveling this journey at his or her own pace. Gathering weekly, they remind each other of God's unconditional love and compassion as they make adjustments to living a life with new family connections and social structures.

Although divorce is the end of a marriage between two people, it calls all members of a family to recreate their relationships. The Detours group offers a place to explore how to reconnect with children, friends and family.

  As the Catholic Church updates its annulment process (read a previous story at www.evangelist.org), the discussion of how heal after a marriage ends is important work that all parish communities need to offer. The next Detours group will begin meeting Feb. 16, 7 p.m., at the Pastoral Center, 40 N. Main Ave, Albany.

(Mary Fay is associate director of the diocesan Office of Lay Ministry Formation. To register, call 518-453-6644 or email mary.fay@rcda.org.)[[In-content Ad]]

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