Special-needs children test parents' strength

Lisa, whose last name is omitted for confidentiality, is a Catholic who struggles "24-7" to cope with her son's overwhelming disabilities.

On a day-to-day basis, those disabilities often manifest themselves in such behaviors as sleep disturbances, bouts of violence against himself and others, overstimulation by sounds and smells, and the many side-effects of attachment disorder.

'Wonderful' son

Due to the many community agencies that assist her on a continuing basis, Lisa has been able to maintain as normal a home life as possible. Her son Gregory (not his real name) currently attends a preschool program designed for children with disabilities; there, he receives special education in speech as well as occupational and physical therapy. He also participates in play therapy for what Lisa terms "the psychological piece" of his education.

"I did a lot of shopping around before I enrolled him in this particular program," she told The Evangelist. "I wanted to be sure his needs were going to be met."

Treatment

She meets once a month with members of her support group; they are also parents of children with fetal alcohol syndrome. Because there is no cure for this condition, parents must learn how to deal with the behaviors manifested by the condition. Additionally, she belongs to a support group sponsored by Families United Network, an Albany County federation of families that advocates for children's mental health.

"We meet twice a month to help each other cope with problems we have as parents of children with these disabilities," she said.

Through this organization, she has received help from social workers, a psychiatrist and others in the developmental disabilities field. She has also become an advocate for parents with children who have mental health disabilities.

Church's role

"With these children, it's hard because they often require services are that individualized to meet their unique needs," she noted. "Children's mental health needs are very different from adult's mental health needs. Parents often feel isolated and frustrated when they can't find ways to meet the demands of their children's disabilities."

Because she never knows how Gregory will react to the outside environment, she does not take him to church. Once, he became upset at Mass and went into a "full-body startle response." She had to subdue him, which she felt caused uneasiness within the congregation.

Family life

"My whole life I've wanted to be a mom," she said. "When I applied to become an adoptive parent, it was because I wanted to share my life with a child. When I was told that a baby was ready for me, I had my doubts about adopting a special needs child. But once I saw my son and held him in my arms, I fell in love with him at once.

"I believe that God was there, guiding me then, and is here, guiding me now. In our home, we have lots of love and hope. You have to have hope for the future."

(As part of Children's Mental Health Week, May 6-12, Families United Network is sponsoring a children's art display at Crossgates Mall. For information, call 426-2619.)

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