Soldiers' families focus of support

Kings were once anointed with oil to symbolize being given power and strength. On Dec. 2, adult family members of soldiers being deployed to Iraq will also be anointed -- hopefully, with the resulting knowledge that the power and strength of God and their peers are with them at this difficult time.

The anointing is part of "Strength for the Journey," an evening of reflection at the Dominican Retreat and Conference Center in Niskayuna.

The event is open to soldiers' families of all faiths, including those whose loved ones are about to be deployed and those with relatives already serving in Iraq.

On the agenda

Watching a soldier go off to war obviously brings up many issues, which will be discussed at the event, according to Revs. Anthony Diacetis and Dominic Isopo, military chaplains who will lead the evening.

Father Diacetis is pastor of Our Lady of Grace parish in Ballston Lake and deputy division chaplain for the 42nd "Rainbow" Infantry Division of the New York State Army National Guard. Initially, he said, families of deployed soldiers have to deal with practical issues like getting extra insurance and finding employment while a spouse is away.

However, he noted, "the practical issues are the easiest to deal with. The underlying frustration, fear and separation -- they're more difficult to deal with."

Emotions

Father Isopo, pastor of St. Luke's parish in Schenectady and chaplain for Stratton Air National Guard Base in Scotia, cited many emotional issues facing soldiers' families: fear that a loved one will not come home; worry that he or she will be handicapped in some way; concern that a spouse at home will not be able to handle being a single parent while the soldier is away; loneliness; and anxiety that a couple's marriage will not be the same after a long separation.

The fact that some soldiers have ended up serving in Iraq for long periods "certainly makes the problem more difficult to deal with," Father Isopo added. "No matter how much preparation you do, the duration really does make a difference."

God on agenda

Family members may also struggle with their faith, wondering why God allows war to occur.

Father Isopo said the goal of the evening of reflection is "not to solve problems, but to allow people to voice them -- and understand that God has not abandoned them and that what their spouse is doing is a courageous act."

The evening will begin with prayer, which Father Isopo hopes will "get people in the spirit of trust and surrendering to God," and help them become comfortable with speaking up. He believes that just venting about the issues that are bothering them will make a difference for soldiers' families under pressure.

Spiritual angle

In addition to discussion, the evening will include a prayer service with the anointing.

"We'll focus on what family members' expectations might be and where they can find hope and strength," Father Diacetis said, noting that hope and strength can come from both God and one another, just as they would for any other stressful situation.

"They should seek support where they would normally seek support -- family, friends, school counselors for the children, their pastors or ministers," he noted.

"Hopefully, families will recognize this as an opportunity to grow," remarked Father Isopo, who believes that families can learn to view the duration of a loved one's deployment as a time of anticipation of his or her return, rather than regret.

Since this is a season of anticipation, he added, "it ties into the Advent theme."

("Strength for the Journey," an evening for adult family members of reservists and National Guard members, will be held Dec. 2, 7-9 p.m., at the Dominican Retreat and Conference Center in Niskayuna. Requested offering is $12. Call 393-4169 for reservations.)

(11/25/04)