Siobhan walks for her father

Nearly every night in the home Siobhan Sheehan grew up in, a prayer was tacked onto her family's before-meal petitions: "Please help the scientists find a cure for multiple sclerosis."

Her father, J. Robert Sheehan, has been living with MS for more than 30 years. This year, Ms. Sheehan and her family are honoring him by donning team t-shirts and participating in the MS Walk on May 1 at Albany's Empire State Plaza.

Mr. Sheehan spent nearly 40 years as music director at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Albany, and three decades as a professor of music at The College of Saint Rose.

Living with MS

Before she could even read, Ms. Sheehan, a member of St. Teresa of Avila Church in Albany, accompanied her father to neurology appointments and noticed what he could not do that other fathers could: run and ski, for example.

"It was difficult to see," she said, "but we learned to deal with it. It's about choosing how you're going to do that. You can be a family with MS as the focus, or you can have MS in the family.

"MS is a life sentence" for the patient and for the family. "It saddens me that this disease is so powerful that it robs them of being able to do the things that other people their age can do with ease, without even a thought," like buttoning a shirt, walking up stairs or taking a stroll.

Coping

The Sheehans face the situation with a mixture of humor, communication and pragmatism. Ms. Sheehan said, thus avoiding a common trap: allowing MS to become "all-powerful."

Ms. Sheehan was always inspired by her father, who kept up a grueling work schedule -- along with a sharp wit and positive attitude.

"His phrase is always 'Don't let it get you down,'" she said. "I have more laughs with him. It's the best medicine."

Mom and faith

She was also motivated by her mother, Anne, whom Ms. Sheehan calls "our rock. It's very easy, when hit with a disease like this, to back off because you don't know how to deal with it. Our mom taught us that, without each other, we can feel lonely; it's so much easier when you're leaning on each other."

Her faith also buoys Ms. Sheehan. From serving as an altar girl when she was a child to visiting elderly residents of Villa Mary Immaculate Nursing Home today, she counts her faith as crucial.

"Faith has given me strength and knowledge that we're not going to be given anything that we can't handle," she explained. "While the MS is that enemy living with us, we also have God living with us."

Seeking a cure

As one way of coping, Ms. Sheehan decided to get involved with the National Multiple Sclerosis Society and the MS Walk, which helps raise money for medical research.

She and her family would like to raise more than $5,000 -- the amount she and her fiance raised last year. But, no matter what happens, she said, they'll look ahead with hope.

"You just have to deal with what is on your plate today, and today is really good," she said.

Citing an old family saying, she finished: "Wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, pull up your pants, and go about your day. It's your day, and what are you going to be doing about it?"

(To sponsor the MS Walk, call 482-5451.)

(4/28/05)