Simplifying your life can de-stress holidays

Ms. Volk, author of "Organize and De-Stress the Christmas Season," frequent workshop presenter for the Consultation Center in Albany, and president of Beyond Clutter, enjoys the holiday season more now that she has learned how to organize her life.

A former teacher and lawyer, Ms. Volk describes herself as a pack rat who chose to simplify her life and live clutter-free. Now she teaches and assists others as they try to de-stress and de-clutter their lives.

Simplify

Since simplifying her life, she's found she has more time to enjoy the special people in her life as well as the sights and sounds of the season.

In her booklet, she provides tips for people interested in reducing their stress during the holiday season. Much of the stress that people encounter at this time of year, she said, comes from trying to reconstruct the perfect holiday that exists in memory.

"We look back with hindsight at the perfect holidays of our youth, and we want to recreate them," she said. "What we don't realize is that we only saw half of it as a child."

Imperfection

If one can expect that people and situations will not be perfect, and that some problems are inevitable, that can set the tone for less stress during the holidays.

Stress-makers

* Having a sense of competition. "Get competition out of your holidays," she said. "This is not a contest to have the biggest party, the prettiest tree or the fanciest meal." Rather than doing the same thing each year, she suggests changing things a bit. For example, having a covered dish Christmas dinner, hosting brunch instead of dinner, or alternating where the holiday is held can all reduce the sense of competition that can exist.

* Feeling obligated. "We feel obligated to do things," Ms. Volk said. "We have to let go." She said people believe they have to do everything or else the holiday won't be perfect. Instead of striving for a perfect holiday, people should focus on relationships; doing so will reduce obligations.

* Believing that materialism is the key to a happy holiday. "Although the commercialized message is 'holiday happiness is directly proportional to the number of gifts received,' we shouldn't act as if we believe it," she noted, adding that children aren't born expecting Christmas presents. "The family can set a different tone," she said. "Don't have gift opening the focus of Christmas day."

Ways out

It is best to have these conversations prior to the Christmas season, she said. "All it takes is one courageous person," she said.

She also suggests lowering spending limits for gifts, joining with others to buy expensive gifts, having family members draw names and then purchasing a gift for the person drawn, giving a family one gift for everyone, or meeting friends for an event like lunch and agreeing that the time together is the gift to each other.

(Ms. Volk's booklet "Organize and De-Stress the Christmas Season" is available for $8.50 plus shipping and handling by calling 456-4265 or visiting www.beyondclutter.com.)

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