Separations must be bridged by loving parents

Many years ago, I read "A Woman Wrapped in Silence," an epic poem by John W. Lynch. In a beautiful, lyrical style, he told the intimate story of Mary, the mother of Jesus, from the time she was a young girl to her old age.

Years later, when I read it again, I was a mother myself, raising four noisy, healthy, active children. As a single mom, I guess I picked the book up again to look for answers to some of the many difficulties I faced. Reading it gave me a great sense of peace.

I felt so much more of what Mary must have felt in her own young motherhood: the fears, worries and hopes she surely had in raising Jesus. The author's words rang true over and over, assuaging my doubts about my capabilities as a parent, and my worries about being both father and mother to my children.

They have grown into wonderful adults, and three of them are married. I now have three very precious grandchildren. The one shadow that lies over my deep joy in being a grandparent is that all of them live halfway across the country.

I rarely see them, and their absence tugs incessantly at my heart. I miss their smiles, hugs and kisses, new words, first steps, and tears and joys. I miss watching my own children being parents to my grandkids. Phone calls, emails and occasional trips are not enough.

I wonder what Mary's love, pain and sorrow were like for her. Surely, she suffered the most heart-wrenching of separations -- the death of her child -- and the bottomless lake of sorrow that must be the worst grief for any mother.

When I am feeling most separated from my children and grandchildren, I think of the many mothers and grandmothers who share Mary's long-ago pain. When I put it all into perspective, I am very grateful for the gift that each one of my children and grandchildren is for me. I know there are many mothers and grandmothers who do not share my blessings.

Mother's Day will find me in Oklahoma, spending precious time with all of my children and grandchildren. I am grateful for the opportunity of an entire week with my family.

Looking forward to this reunion has filled me with joy and great expectation, and I am reminded of my precious blessings by all those grieving women who, like Mary, remain wrapped in silence.

(5/6/04) [[In-content Ad]]