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OPINION

Seeking refuge from the recession

A colleague recently commented that the only sacrifice the middle class is making during this recession is giving up summer camps for their children.

I beg to differ. Not only has my family given up vacations, summer camp and swimming lessons, but the slump in the economy has forced us to give up meat as a main dish, orthodontia and several medications.

Last year, my husband lost his job. We were lucky - he had a severance package and we could take advantage of COBRA [a health insurance plan for the unemployed]. 

Since that time, he has only found contract work with no benefits, so we are paying for health insurance out of pocket. The most affordable insurance plan costs us $700 a month and requires us to pay $3,000 out of pocket before any coverage kicks in.

I work part-time. Some months I've worked three jobs to ensure that there is food on the table.

We've had some especially tight months where work has been sparse, but our bills remain the same. We've had to do what every financial planner tells you not to do: dip into our retirement account just to make ends meet. In addition, we've had two garage sales and are regularly selling our possessions on eBay.

My grandfather grew up not wearing shoes during the warm weather because his parents couldn't afford them. This summer, my kids do the same: When we have to go somewhere, they squeeze their feet into shoes that don't fit - and I feel like a failure as a mother.

Each generation is supposed to do better than the next. My grandfather went from being a shoeless coal miner to being a world traveler in his lifetime. I've gone from being a world traveler to being a mother of shoeless kids.

We are not alone. In my neighborhood of well-kept, middle-class homes, the "for sale" signs are everywhere. This neighbor can't pay her mortgage without the child support check, but her ex-husband is out of work. That neighbor lost his job in pharmaceutical sales. And that one was an airline pilot.

Unfortunately, the changes in our family's budget affect the greater community. We do not have as much money to donate to our parish, the Diocese or the charities we once supported.

Our acts of kindness don't involve writing checks to charities. Instead, we've taken food to the single mom of four battling cancer, watched friends' children as the friends went on job interviews and shared the vegetables from our garden with our neighbors. Of course, we've always done that. 

I've also been on the receiving end of charity. A stolen wallet led to our bank account being cleaned out. I found myself unable to buy milk or bread for my children. As hard as it was on my pride, I had to accept the money my sister gave me and the food brought to me by my neighbors.

Despite these challenges, I know that my family isn't suffering the way other people are. There are impoverished people in our community and around the world who have it far worse than us. 

I am more aware of God's grace getting me through each day. People often comment on how well I'm doing. How could I not be? Not only am I turning to God for strength, but I am the beneficiary of other people's prayers.

We middle-class families who are tightening our belts may only publicly share that we are eliminating summer camp, because we don't want to let on about what's really happening in our homes. We're selling off our lives piece by piece to the highest bidder on the internet while trying to assure our children that we are not poor as we eat yet another meal of pasta.

(Ann Downing is a pseudonym for a Catholic writer in the Diocese who asked to remain anonymous to protect her family's privacy.)

(08/27/09) [[In-content Ad]]

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