April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
GAY MARRIAGE
Same-sex issues must be approached with compassion
The question, posed by Jesus in Matthew 7:3, is not easily accepted. Why do I look at their speck? Because I'm comfortable with my beam; because I don't notice my beam anymore; because their speck is more scandalous; because no one else has noticed my beam yet.
A friend and I sat in a diner late one night discussing that very topic. In every arena of Christianity and on every one of the 10 Commandments, we humans judge one another.
In childhood, when your sister knows you lied to your parents about finishing your homework, she does not tell them, "She's a liar! But I am, too; aren't we all?" She tells your parents, "She's lying!"
As we grow older and the gravity of our sins grows with us, the judgment continues: She's selfish; he's greedy; she's lazy; he's loose - the list goes on. To talk about one another's sins comes so naturally, it almost doesn't feel wrong at times. "Did you see their speck?" becomes routine.
Today, more than ever, this teaching seems to have been forgotten by Christians. The legalization of same-sex marriage in New York State has been met not only with opposition by Christians, but, in many cases, with anger, disgust and viciously cruel words against anyone who is gay.
Although it's true that same-sex unions will never fit into the Church's definition of matrimony, to speak ill against homosexuals is not only looking at their specks, it is also causing us to ignore the very real and present beams in our own eyes.
Eye analogies aside, if one definitive statement can be made about Christians, it is that we are all sinners. This does not mean we give up on taking apart the structures of sin that have been built up in our society - abortion, capital punishment, decadent greed and so much more - but it does mean that we have no right or cause to look at another's sin with anything but compassion.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that homosexuals "must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided."
The Church is very clear on its teachings concerning homosexuality. Being gay is not a choice and Catholic homosexuals face a particular lifelong struggle to live a life of chastity. For gay individuals feeling alienated from the world, the Church is to be a sanctuary, not a slap in the face.
Many homosexual men and women, whether they have struggled with their identity or accepted it early on, have had to face feeling ostracized, criticized, hated or unable to find where they belong. I feel belittled if someone notices even my smallest faults, so I cannot imagine what it must feel like to have such an integral part of your person scorned.
That night in the diner, my friend summed it up for me in simple terms: "I can't even be worried about your speck. I'm going to be spending the rest of my life working on getting the log out of my own eye."
Refraining from judgment of someone's sins is not indifference or selfishness. It is compassion and understanding. Pray for others and their struggle with sin. Love them. Offer an ear if they seem in need. But judgment is reserved for God.
Even if the issue is something as hot-button as homosexuality, we are all busy enough dealing with our own sins. Meet other sinners with love and compassion first.[[In-content Ad]]
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