Rensselaer students learn about life by visiting those who are dying

Students at St. Joseph's/St. John's Academy in Rensselaer are learning some important lessons about the facts of life -- and death.

Through the efforts of Rev. Adam Forno, parish administrator, eighth graders come to know that dying and death are a natural part of life and not something to fear.

In a program that started last year, students learn about dying through working with patients at St. Peter's Hospital Hospice Daycare Unit in Albany. Teams of three eighth graders visit the unit for two hours with Father Forno, who is also a hospice chaplain. They serve patients lunch and chat with them.

Moving experiences

During their visits, remarkable things happen, according to the priest and students.

"These kids blow me away," Father Forno said. "They're so resilient. They take it in, and they deal with it."

According to 13-year-old Erin Olivan, spending time with the patients is enjoyable. "They're funny," she said. "It isn't a sad place."

Preparatory dialogue

Prior to the visits, Father Forno talks with the class about death and dying. Then on the drive to St. Peter's, he discusses the visit with the students. They share any fears or uncertainties they might have, and he explains that they aren't alone in those feelings. On the drive back, students process their experiences with the priest.

Stephen Vadney, 13, had some fears about his first visit. "I was a little nervous," he confessed. "I wondered how they'd act being there."

Classmate Nicole Roy also had some concerns since the majority of the people they would be working with were senior citizens: "I felt weird because of the age difference."

The students soon learned that there was nothing to worry about. The patients enjoy hearing about the students' school life and activities, playing checkers, and just talking.

"Seeing them smile is the best part," Stephen reported.

Important experience

Sister Kathleen Pritty, principal, has found the hospice experience to be valuable for her students.

"This is good for the kids. They don't have the experience with death," she said, noting that previous generations cared for the dying at home and involved their children in wakes and funerals.

Current culture does not allow for such close-up experience with death. By exposing them to dying, death and funerals, students are comfortable with the rituals when a death happens in their own families.

Sister Kathleen has been impressed with the students and their work at hospice. "They talk about the patients like they like them," she said. "It doesn't make them sad. They see the person, not the illness."

Funeral rite

Besides volunteering at hospice, the students are also active at parish funerals. For example, when a parishioner died last year and his only relative lived in a neighboring state in a nursing home, students volunteered to assist Father Forno with the funeral. They did the readings and connected the parishioner's life to their own.

"They impressed me," Father Forno said. "It was a great gift they gave. Their presence brought dignity to that moment."

The priest is available to students who may experience a death in their own family, and helps the school community reach out to them in their time of need. When a student's grandfather died recently in Western New York, for instance, the school was not able to attend the wake and funeral. Instead, Father Forno led a ceremony for the student and his classmates so that all could express their sympathy.

Death studies

Father Forno believes there is a place in Catholic schools for death education.

"I'm not in curriculum development," he said. "But we have drug education, health education and self-esteem education, as well as academics. I'm a firm believer in death education. People are so uncomfortable with death, they don't want to touch it. I'm comfortable with it."

(12-05-96) [[In-content Ad]]