Project Rachel helps women as they cope with abortions

Addressing about two dozen counselors, priests and others from the Albany Diocese who work with women in the aftermath of abortion, Marlene (whose last name has been withheld) told of her abortions, estrangement from the Church and reconnection to faith.

Marlene was a divorcee with three children when she had two abortions, hoping for a "quick fix" to her situation. She remarried and again became pregnant, this time hoping to keep the child. But her husband did not want the baby and convinced her to have a third abortion.

Years of guilt

Eventually, Marlene joined Al-Anon, a 12-step program for families of people with addictions. That led her back to the Catholic Church, but she felt that she had been excommunicated for her abortions and "would not go near the altar" to receive Communion.

She tried going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, but the priest who heard her confession was stern and did not give her absolution. The next year, on Mercy Sunday, she tried again, this time meeting a gentle and compassionate priest who did grant her absolution.

Marlene then became involved with Project Rachel, a nationwide ministry that helps women who have had abortions to deal with the effects of their decision and receive counseling and reconciliation. She found healing and, as she recently told the gathering of counselors and priests, was "thrilled about Project Rachel coming to the Albany Diocese."

People in pain

"There are people out there who are in pain," said Meg Bergh of the diocesan Family Life Office. "They took the life of their unborn child. They're afraid of coming forward because of the image of the Catholic Church. We are a very pro-life Church, and we don't want to change that, ever; but we are also a very forgiving Church."

The name "Project Rachel" is taken from the Old Testament book of Jeremiah, a passage of which reads: "Rachel mourns her children; she refuses to be consoled because her children are no more. Thus says the Lord: Cease your cries of mourning. Wipe the tears from your eyes. The sorrow you have shown shall have its reward. There is hope for your future" (31:15-17).

Symptoms

Women who suffer from post-abortion syndrome, he said, are unable to process their feelings about the abortion, to grieve their children, or to find peace with God, others and themselves about their decision.

He advised the counselors to ask themselves how they felt about abortion and God's role in the healing process, and to be mindful of their answers when dealing with clients who have had abortions. He noted that judgmentalism or preaching will hinder a therapeutic relationship.

The counselors were also given guidelines about the process a woman might go through during post-abortion counseling. He noted that the woman should be allowed to tell her whole story and take time to build trust, and that she should work toward forgiveness.

Experiences

Another counselor pointed out that younger clients may be dealing with another issue: wanting to please their parents and/or hide the fact that they were pregnant at all. Therapists, she said, need to remember the mentality of the age group they're dealing with.

The priests spoke of the mistaken belief that every woman who has an abortion is automatically excommunicated. One priest noted the three conditions that constitute a serious sin: It concerns a serious matter, has been given adequate reflection and is committed with full consent of the will. Another priest said he believes it difficult for a woman in fear and distress to incur excommunication for having an abortion.

Healing

Many clients, said Ms. Bergh, may also find it helpful to name their unborn children or memorialize them in other ways.

She concluded with a statement written by a young woman who had found her way back to the Church after an abortion. The statement read in part: "The mercy of God is there for the taking if you trust. I feel this peace because God now lives within me. He never abandoned me, even after my abortion. I am never alone in this life. He is with me."

(Call Project Rachel at 453-6677.)

(10-07-99) [[In-content Ad]]