Program revives marriages

Mike (last name omitted for privacy) was referring to the state of his marriage in 1995 when, one day, he picked up a newspaper and read an article about Retrouvaille, a program for couples in troubled marriages.

Attending a Retrouvaille weekend and six follow-up sessions, he said, changed his life and saved his marriage. Now, he and his wife Catherine are one of several couples who present the weekend retreats to other couples who are experiencing hurting marriages but who want to build a stable relationship.

Reclaiming relationships

Its primary goal is to provide help for couples who live in the disappointment and pain of a marriage in trouble. The program helps husbands and wives to communicate and gain awareness of themselves as individuals and a couple by addressing such issues as encountering self, the effect of "me" on others, marriage in today's society, the challenge of being a couple, trust, forgiveness and healing.

According to Mike, a Retrouvaille weekend allows a couple to spend time together in a neutral environment. They listen to husband-and-wife teams present issues. The teams have already experienced the weekend and its follow-up sessions. Although they are not professional counselors, each team understands troubled marriages because they have been through it themselves. A priest is also present to give several talks over the weekend.

Privacy

"Couples are never asked to tell their own stories or share any of their intimate history with others," he said. "The environment of Retrouvaille is completely confidential."

He explained that the follow-up sessions are extremely important. Because damage to a marriage often occurs over a period of time, the healing process needs an extended amount of time as well, Mike said, adding that "it is in these sessions that most of the 'real life' work is done."

The follow-ups provide a support group for couples as well as a place where concepts of the Retrouvaille weekend are reviewed and new insights into issues -- such as conflict resolution, intimacy and the importance of listening -- are discussed.

How it's different

But Mike said that "if you compare the Marriage Encounter weekend to an annual checkup at your doctor's office, you can compare the Retrouvaille weekend with a visit to the emergency room while you are having a heart attack. There is no doubt that this program works. My marriage is a perfect example."

(A website, www.retrouvaille.org, lists the dates and locations of scheduled weekends. Although Retrouvaille is Catholic in origin and orientation, couples of any religious background are welcome. There are no Retrouvaille groups currently based in the Diocese of Albany, but the diocesan Family Life Office can provide information on nearby weekends and other resources available for married couples. Call director Meg Bergh at 453-6677.)

(12-13-01) [[In-content Ad]]