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Kerri Insinga is a wedding planner. Recently she and her fiancé, Blake Green, started planning for their marriage.

The couple participated in the Pre-Cana II program offered by the Albany diocesan Office of Evangelization, Catechesis and Family Life. The program is designed for couples who are marrying in the Church and have either been married before or have children from a previous relationship.

Miss Insinga was pleasantly surprised by the day-long program. "I didn't know what to expect," she said. "But I had a good time. I got a lot out of it."

Miss Insinga said the program led to much discussion between her and her fiancé. 

"I think it was very beneficial," she said. "They gave us great tools to use in our marriage."

Providing tools to use in marriage is one of the goals of the program, said Mary Fay, associate director for marriage ministry for the OECFL. 

"During Pre-Cana we're planting seeds," she said. "We're hoping little pieces will seep into them for later use. Pre-Cana is like a tool box. You're not going to build right away, but you'll have the tools when you need them."

The Pre-Cana II program is different from the Pre-Cana I program in that people preparing to remarry or to blend families need more tools than those marrying for the first time, Mrs. Fay said. 

Both Pre-Cana I and II cover topics such as sacraments; spirituality; sex and intimacy; communication and conflict; values; expectations; finances; personality differences; children; career; addiction and abuse; and family of origin issues. 

Pre-Cana II also addresses how to blend families, an increasingly common challenge in today's society.

Participants in Pre-Cana II sessions are often diverse and include widows and widowers, single parents, and people who have had an annulment.

According to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, marriage preparation is especially important for those entering a second marriage. 

In their report, "An Analysis of Diocesan Marriage Preparation Policies," the bishops state the following: "Couples entering a second marriage need special attention to help them understand how the dynamics of a previous marriage will impact their new marriage. Due to the increased risk of divorce, more rather than less preparation is beneficial."

Mrs. Fay said the Pre-Cana II program is not a time to focus on previous, failed marriages. 

"This is about developing healthy relationships," she said.

Mrs. Fay has noticed that people who attend the Pre-Cana II program are often more willing to share with one another than those in the Pre-Cana I program. 

"Many have been married previously; some were not married in the Church. Often they are more seasoned people," she said. "They are more open and more willing to interact with each other. They share what works and doesn't work."

Those participating in Pre-Cana II are often pleased to have time to talk with their future spouse at length and at peace. "There are no cell phones and no kids," Mrs. Fay said. "It's just the two of them. This allows them to give each other uninterrupted time."

Whether a couple is participating in Pre-Cana I or II, Mrs. Fay said the goal is the same. 

"The Church sees marriage as a life-giving, grace-filled sacrament that is lived every single day," she said. "It is the couple's responsibility to pull grace from each day. The commitment of marriage is a commitment for life."

Anyone planning on getting married in the Church should plan on participating in Pre-Cana at least six months in advance. "This gives you things to think about," Mrs. Fay said.

Miss Insinga and her fiancé participated in the program 11 months before their wedding. As a wedding planner, Miss Insinga said her schedule gets busy during the summer months. She didn't want her marriage preparations to take a back seat to those of her clients.

Being married in the Church is very important to Miss Insinga. A parishioner of Sacred Heart Church in Sidney, she said she is looking forward to receiving this sacrament.

The bride had advice for other couples about Pre-Cana: "Go in with an open mind."[[In-content Ad]]

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