Program leads parents, teens to broach delicate subject

SEX TALK

A new workshop offered by Community Maternity Services, an arm of diocesan Catholic Charities, can help parents and teenagers communicate about sex.

"TV Snapshots: Parent-Teen Sexuality Program" allows parents and teens to compare and contrast their perceptions of sex and sexuality as portrayed by the media.

Created by family life educator Kelly Chandler, the program includes watching video clips from current movies, television programs and commercials that depict specific attitudes about sexuality. After viewing the video, parents and teens split into two separate groups to discuss their impressions. When the larger group is called back together, reactions are shared.

Starting discussions

When they discuss the video, parents and teens often find they have the same values, Mrs. Chandler said.

"A lot of parents reach contentment because the comments the teens make reflect Christian values," said Jack Simeone, associate executive director of CMS. "Teens walk away knowing parents are interested."

"The feedback has been positive," according to Mrs. Chandler. "I see teens talking with their parents as they walk out the door. One of our goals is to get the family to begin discussion at home."

Video images

The 45-minute videotape condenses 100 hours of television programs, movies and commercials that Mrs. Chandler has recorded. The video includes both positive and negative images of sexuality, although she admits it was difficult to find the positive messages.

One of the prominent messages in current television programming is a lack of support for permanence in sexual relationships. "Permanence was not expected in a lot of relationships," Mr. Simeone said. "There's not a lot of waiting until married to have sex."

Many programs depict teens in exclusive relationships. "It's not healthy for teenagers to be exclusive in relationships, especially between 14 and 15," said Mr. Simeone. "It robs them of social opportunities or extracurricular activities. They miss out on friendships."

Benefits

Besides providing parents with an avenue for discussion with teens, the workshop gives parents a way to continue the conversations. Participants learn how to watch TV actively, how to identify teachable moments and how to discuss programs with their children, Mrs. Chandler said.

Another benefit is that parents meet others who are parenting adolescents and see they're not alone in struggling with teenage sexuality. As for the teens, they meet others in their age group who have the same values that they do.

While it is difficult to gauge the success of prevention programs, Mr. Simeone said there is an indication that they have an impact. Through testing that utilized a control group, CMS learned that there was a significant change in the knowledge and attitudes of participants.

Human relations

Mr. Simeone said that CMS programs for parents and teens (see box) are more than just a way to prevent teen pregnancy.

"It's not just a teen pregnancy issue," he explained. "It's how we treat each other as human beings. With sex education, we try to reflect values and what it means to be a Christian."

Sex education, he continued, includes teaching respect for the body as well as modeling healthy relationship behavior that includes respect and responsibility.

What many parents lack, Mr. Simeone said, is a model for how to talk to teens about sex and sexuality. That's because many parents had few conversations with their own parents on those topics. These workshops provide the parents with an example of how to talk to their children about sex and sexuality.

(The workshops can be modified to fit the needs of parishes, Catholic and public schools, religious education classes, and agencies in all 14 counties of the Albany Diocese. For more information, call Kelly Chandler at 482-8836.)

The two-hour workshop on sexuality is one of four available through Community Maternity Services. They are designed to augment sex education programs and can be used in a parish or school setting.

The other three workshops are:

* "Sexuality -- A Range of Messages," a parent-teen workshop that encourages discussion on past and present messages about sexuality;

* "Dilemmas and Decisions," a program for sixth through twelfth graders that discusses dating, abstinence, choices and decisions; and

* "RSVP -- Respecting Sexuality Via Peers," which is led by trained high school students, is designed for junior high students and covers dating, friendships, goals and decisions. (MM)

(03-06-97) [[In-content Ad]]