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ONCE ALIENATED, NOW RECONCILED

For Rosemary Rounds, working up the nerve to ask for forgiveness also gave her the courage to return to the Church after being away for 18 years.

"It's the hardest thing to pour your heart out to someone you don't know," Mrs. Rounds said, referring to Rev. John O'Kane, pastor at St. Isaac Jogues parish in Chestertown/Hague, where she has been a parishioner since late 2008.

She said she confessed to the priest "things you do over the course" of a lifetime, from "when you're a kid to when you're 50 years old."

She added, "I just needed forgiveness from him as a priest. And then I wanted to come back."

The Stamford, Conn., native was raised Catholic. She attended Catholic schools through the eighth grade and frequented folk Masses. Her parents invited nuns and priests over for dinner.

Mrs. Rounds fell away from the Church after a Catholic priest snubbed her and her then-fiance, Gene Rounds Jr., because Mr. Rounds had been previously married.

"It wasn't because I lost faith," explained Mrs. Rounds, who added that she never considered changing denominations. "I became disillusioned with the Church." A justice of the peace officiated at the couple's wedding.

Throughout her hiatus, Mrs. Rounds' mother continued attending Mass. When Mrs. Rounds moved to New York in 2004, she brought her mother and assumed the role of Mass chauffeur.

She accompanied her mother twice: once for a Christmas Eve liturgy and once for a memorial Mass for her father.

That was when Father O'Kane caught her eye: He wore jeans and sneakers under his vestments.

"I thought that was the coolest thing," Mrs. Rounds said, describing the priest as young and "human." The connection proved crucial.

"I don't know what happened, but Dec. 6, 2008, I had a desire to come back to the Church," she said. She met with Father O'Kane a few days later - the first of a series of long discussions about her life and Catholicism.

In the next few months, Mrs. Rounds faced other challenges: Her three-year-old basset hound, Dudley, died from lymph node cancer and she lost her job. In the midst of these trials, she felt comforted being back to the practice of her faith.

Now, Father O'Kane comes to the Rounds' home for cookouts. Mrs. Rounds is a eucharistic minister at the parish, a pastoral council member and an event volunteer. Mr. Rounds comes to Mass, too.

"Now, I feel I get so much more out of the Mass by being part of the Mass," Mrs. Rounds said. "For me, it was like coming home."

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MOTHER FORGIVES CHILD'S MURDERER

"I just always believed that I need to forgive," Mrs. Marsh told The Evangelist.

Her daughter, Catherine Marsh, was one of eight women murdered and their bodies stashed in Kendall Francois' attic and basement in the late 1990s. Catherine had disappeared two years prior to the gruesome discovery and Mr. Francois' arrest. He pleaded guilty in 2000 and is serving a life sentence in prison.

"I think I decided right from the beginning that I wasn't going to let anger control my life," Mrs. Marsh said.

Mrs. Marsh lives in Schenectady and attends St. Paul the Apostle parish there. She joined the diocesan Commission on Restorative Justice after the incident.

She has spoken out against the death penalty, much to the chagrin of the other victims' families.

"I don't believe that anyone should take anyone else's life," Mrs. Marsh clarified, citing the Ten Commandments. She has been Catholic all her life, but entered into a deeper relationship with Jesus in 1974 through participation in the charismatic renewal movement.

In January 2008, after praying for courage, Mrs. Marsh and her other daughter felt ready to meet with Mr. Francois at Attica Correctional Facility.

They described to him their pain. They offered their forgiveness. His response was difficult to swallow, but Mrs. Marsh felt satisfied that she was following the teachings of Jesus.

"I know that's what He would expect of me," she explained. "You know Jesus hung on that cross and said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'" [[In-content Ad]]

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