April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
RCIA PROCESS
Profile of a new Catholic
Tabetha Bonker, 24, wanted baptism from the age of 12, but didn't know where to go, since her parents left that decision up to her and her siblings. She attended a Baptist church with her grandmother on holidays, but it didn't capture her enthusiasm.
When her Catholic grandfather died about six years ago, his funeral piqued her interest in Catholicism.
"Masses are very nice," Ms. Bonker explained. "I believe in what they're saying. It's the mystery, and it's not boring. They tie so much in with the singing and the readings and the homily."
Three years ago, she met her now-fiancé, Paul Cosgrove, and started attending Mass with him when they visited his family on Long Island.
Just right
"It just seemed right," Ms. Bonker said of Catholic Masses, realizing she preferred them to other Christian services. "They're more intense and more involved. They draw you in more. Everybody's participating; you're not just listening to people talk. It's a community, a family."
Back home, she soon found St. Mary's parish in Oneonta, and the spirit of the people there added to her desire to become Catholic. She started the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults process for people who want to join the Church.
The parish community provided an important support system when her father died in August.
"The whole thing has been very intense, very emotional for me," Ms. Bonker said. "The church has been phenomenal and they've helped me so much, and they make me feel like it's going to be OK."
Ms. Bonker and her fiancé also welcomed their son, Michael Joseph, into the world over the summer. She hopes he will be baptized at the same time she is baptized, confirmed and receives her First Communion at Easter at St. Mary's: "I can't even express what that would mean to me, because it would be something me and my son started together."
What's RCIA?
RCIA classes meet once a week and after Mass on Sundays; catechumens discuss weekly readings, liturgical seasons, Church history and more. (A "candidate" is a person of another Christian denomination who becomes a Catholic; a "catechumen" is a person of a non-Christian faith or of no religious background.)
Ms. Bonker said she used to think religion was just about going to church at holidays, but "now I just feel like there's so much more to it than that. It's a way of life. It's important and meaningful.
"It's made me more relaxed, more understanding," she continued. "I don't jump to judgment as much as I used to."
She said stereotypes about Catholics are just that: "People make the Catholic religion seem so scary. Everyone I've talked to has been welcoming. They care about my story, but they don't hold it against me. We're a family and we're working on getting married and we're happy."
Pre-Cana, too
Pre-Cana marriage preparation classes for the couple will start soon. Ms. Bonker regards them as "pre-marriage counseling: You put everything out there and you work toward a good, solid foundation."
Ms. Bonker has an associate's degree in general studies from SUNY Delhi and is working toward a bachelor's degree in business management from there. She hopes to work as a residence counselor for children with disabilities - and to volunteer in some capacity at St. Mary's: "They've done so much for me and my family. I want to give back."
As Easter approaches, Ms. Bonker doesn't know what to expect, but knows she "can't wait to be baptized. It's something I've wanted for so long.
"I love this Church. Being able to say, 'Yes, I'm Catholic,' is something I want. I wish my dad was here [and that] I did this sooner." [[In-content Ad]]
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