Priests recall wedding `bloopers'

However, sometimes plans go awry. Due to unforeseen circumstances, the "perfect wedding" can sometimes encounter unexpected or unplanned occurrences. These can be humorous or sad, but one thing is for sure: They are always memorable.

Since priests officiate at Catholic sacramental celebrations, The Evangelist asked priests of the Albany Diocese if they recalled any experiences when weddings or the events that surround them were different than expected. Although the stories that follow are true, the names of those involved have been omitted.

Waiting game

"We were at the wedding rehearsal, the day before the wedding," the pastor said. "The wedding party and their families had made arrangements to meet me at a certain time in the church. In my experience of weddings, the bride and her party were usually the ones late for either the rehearsal or the wedding, or both. On this occasion, however, the bride and her entire party showed up at the church on time. Everyone was there on time -- everyone, that is, except the groom and his best man."

Father Kacerguis explained that the groom and best man were driving behind the bride, who was driving to the rehearsal in her own car.

"On the way to the church, they passed a traffic light and the bride drove through just as it changed to red. The groom stopped for the light. The bride proceeded to the church thinking that the groom would be close behind her. Well, we waited, and waited...and waited.

At the altar

"The family was a very large, influential ethnic family, involved in the construction business," remembered Father Kacerguis. "And although there was a lot left to the imagination by their comments, one definitely understood what was being inferred!"

Finally, 45 minutes later, the groom and best man showed up, looking very nervous. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. In the end, the explanation was simple: While the groom and best man were waiting at the traffic light, fire apparatus responded to a structure fire near the intersection and traffic was stopped in all directions until the fire engines could set up their equipment.

Inflamed

"About seven or eight years ago, while officiating at a ceremony, I was standing in front of the unity candle we use for weddings in our parish," he said. "Suddenly, the best man began patting me on the back. I thought he was just being congratulatory. But after a few moments I realized he was furiously patting me on the back!"

What the best man was actually doing was putting out a fire that had started on the back of Father Brucker's heavily brocaded vestment. He had backed up too close to the candle and wax had dripped onto his upper back, igniting the material of his vestment.

Once the flames were extinguished, Father Brucker continued with the wedding ceremony, undaunted and uninjured.

"Thank goodness I had no hair on my head to burn," he wryly commented, "or I would have been a goner."

Held up

"While I was celebrating Mass for the inmates, several of the guards went upstairs, leaving just one man to guard them. After Mass, three of the inmates lingered, talking among themselves as the rest filed back to their cells.

"Suddenly, the three inmates overpowered the guard, grabbing his gun and the keys to the cells. A shot was fired in the scuffle, thankfully heading up the stairwell, but echoing throughout the room as it went. Before I knew it, both the guard and myself had been ushered into one of the cells and locked in!

"The inmates escaped with the keys and the gun," Father Brucker continued. "Since the county sheriff was the only one who had an extra set of keys, and he was out of town, we had to wait quite awhile until he returned to unlock the cell and release us.

"Needless to say," he added with a laugh, "I did not enjoy my wedding dessert that evening!"

By proxy

"Back in the late 60s, one year there was a terrible snowstorm on the day of a wedding my friend was scheduled to perform," he told The Evangelist. "Traffic was virtually at a standstill due to the heavy snowfall. Father made it to the church, however, and eventually the groom made it as well, arriving with the ushers. The bride and her wedding party were a little late, but they all finally arrived together...on the back of a flatbed tow truck!"

Father Patterson also recalled the story of a priest he knows who was scheduled to officiate at a Saturday noon wedding.

"The priest arrived for the noon service only to discover that he was a full hour late. The wedding was held at a local college chapel and scheduled for 11 a.m. The bride, groom and wedding party, as well as the organist and all the couple's friends and family, had gathered and were ready to go.

Where's Father?

"When he finally got to the chapel, the priest found the bride, who had locked herself in the Ladies Room, crying hysterically," Father Patterson said. "He began to talk to her and calm her down. Eventually, he convinced her to come out, and they went through the wedding procession again -- this time, with the priest in attendance."

Psalmist

"She was not an active Catholic, and she asked me quite seriously, `Did you write those songs yourself, Father?' I would have liked to take the credit for writing the beautiful psalms but had to give King David his due."

Several of the priests interviewed recalled times when emotions ran high. Most have dealt with weeping, hyperventilating brides, grooms and best men that passed out, and parents stepping on wedding gown trains that pulled veils off their daughters' heads.

Some talked about how wedding customs have changed over the years and how they differ from state to state and in other countries. Some have even performed weddings in strange places.

Location, location

"I even had a ceremony in a hotel parking lot up in Tannersville," he added, referring to a nearby ski resort in the Catskills. "Another time, in the middle of November, I did a wedding in a barn. We were all freezing and I remember that all the guests were holding steaming cups of hot coffee just to keep themselves warm!"

Father Doyle has also performed weddings in the sweltering heat. A couple of years ago, he officiated at a ceremony where it was "brutally hot" outside. Inside the church, it was even hotter.

"I like to greet the guests at a wedding in the name of the couple," he explained. "There we were, sweating in this unbelievable heat, and I said, `On behalf of Peter and Cathy, I'd like to extend a warm greeting to everyone gathered here today' -- and suddenly the entire congregation broke into laughter. I didn't even realize I had cracked a joke."

Misty moment

When Father O'Brien asked the young man what was wrong, he replied, "I've just realized that I am losing my best friend [the groom] today. We will never be friends again in the same way that we have in the past."

"It was a very touching moment," said Father O'Brien.

Sacramental

"Some people just are not ready for that commitment," one priest commented. "You can easily see it."

All concurred, however, that it is satisfying when a couple comes to be married who have prepared together for marriage and are willing to devote themselves to the sanctity of their vows and the building of a permanent, lifelong relationship.

(08-02-01) [[In-content Ad]]