Priests, parish life directors not bothered by crying children

It happens in every parish.

The pastor closes the book of the Gospels and begins to preach. An infant in the congregation chooses that very moment to let out a loud, distracting wail.

The humiliated mother quickly climbs over other parishioners to get to the back of the church, where she calms the child in the parish gathering space.

Delightful sound

According to pastors and parish life directors in the Albany Diocese, parents shouldn't feel embarrassed when their child cries during the liturgy -- nor should other parishioners criticize moms and dads.

"When I hear a child crying during Mass, I take delight in it," said Rev. George Brucker, pastor of St. Paul the Apostle parish in Schenectady. He takes the presence of children at Mass as a sign that his parish is alive and growing.

Father Brucker interrupts his homilies occasionally to "let the mother know that it's all right for their child to cry," he said.

He also jokes with potential critics, informing them that the children "keep them awake" during Mass and that the youngsters "make the sermon shorter."

Toy time

Rev. Patrick Butler, pastor of Christ the King parish in Westmere, proposes a different solution: Bring small children to liturgy, but provide them with a soft toy, stuffed animal or a Bible-based coloring book to occupy them if they get fidgety.

"We've had children's 'pew art' for ages," he said. "Children may not be participating as an adult would, but they're watching and asking questions.

"On their level, they are trying to express an understanding of their faith. Children belong in church. They need to be there."

Working at it

Rev. John Riley of St. George's parish in Pittstown refers St. Therese, the Little Flower, to describe his attitude towards those who criticize crying kids: "St. Therese wrote of how an old nun [in the convent] would bang her rosary on a pew and distract her during prayer, but how that just had to make her work harder at her prayer." Like Therese, "we get more out of our prayers if we work at it."

Sister Mary Kenan McGowan, parish life director at St. John Francis Regis Church in Grafton, noted that the young parish -- sporting a median age of only 27 and a burgeoning faith formation program -- always includes children in what it does.

"We have kids coming out of our ears," she said, "kids running up and down the aisles, in and out of pews, everywhere."

Since the parish's expansion to a new church building, parents feel free to move around the aisles to quiet fretting infants. Young adults who have strayed away from the Church "come back when they have children," she added, "so the attitude towards them should be welcoming."

Welcome sign

Sister Margaret Walker, parish life director at Albany's Center City cluster of churches, likes to make sure that young families know they're welcome at the parish. She makes a special effort to seek out new families after Mass, meet their children and offer herself as a resource.

Sister Margaret, who "grew up in a parish that said children couldn't come to Sunday Mass until they enrolled in kindergarten," feels that parishes need to adapt the liturgy to make children feel welcome, rather than unwanted or ostracized.

At the Center City parishes, for example, children are emphasized at Mass: They serve as gift bearers at the Offertory and help out at Christmas Masses, and they are invited up to stand around the altar after the Offertory.

"We have so few children that we try to highlight when they're there," she said. "Kids need to know that they are special and wanted."

(5/8/03) [[In-content Ad]]