Priest finally meets his long-lost brother

At first, Rev. R. Adam Forno wasn't going to send his brother a card last Christmas.

Although he had done so for the past 10 years and had contacted him on numerous occasions by mail and phone for more than 20 years, Father Forno, administrator of St. Joseph's Church in Rensselaer, had received only two phone calls from his brother, who lives near Nashville, Tenn., during those two decades.

But Father Forno did send his brother one more Christmas card, a decision that eventually led to a long-awaited meeting between the two siblings last month.

First meeting

What made the visit so special was that Father Forno and his brother, Joseph, had never met. Their father had divorced and remarried, and the half-brothers were raised in two different families, hundreds of miles apart.

As a 14-year-old living in Auburn, New York, Father Forno learned about his brother one day after school, when an aunt confronted him in a moment of rage and revealed that he had a brother and that his father had been married before marrying his mother.

Seven years earlier, Joe was playing during recess at his school outside Nashville when a bully teased him and said he was "adopted." Joe confronted his mother and learned the truth: While she was his natural mother, he had been adopted by the man he considered his father. Somewhere, he had a birth father -- and a half-brother.

Family hints

Father Forno often heard his mother ask his father to sign birthday or graduation cards for Joseph, and the family also sent him clothing and savings bonds. Until his aunt broke the news to him, however, Father Forno never had known that Joe was his brother.

Although Joe was curious about his birth father, he didn't want to betray the man who adopted him, so he remained in the dark. But Father Forno began tracking down his brother. While living in a monastery in Little Rock, Ark., he wrote to the priest in a small town outside Nashville, where he was told his brother lived. The priest knew Joe's wife, Barbara; after he contacted her, she wrote back to Father Forno -- the first time he received written word from Joe's family.

First contact

On Dec. 15, 1977, the day of Father Forno's first profession of vows, Joe called him to offer his congratulations. He ended the conversation by saying, "Good-bye, little brother." The words brought tears to Father Forno's eyes.

After professing his final vows, Father Forno was transferred to Dallas for graduate school. Joe and Barbara wanted him to fly to Nashville to meet them and their family, but Father Forno's superior wouldn't allow him to make the trip. The couple eventually divorced. Father Forno didn't meet or hear from them again, but he continued sending Joe cards each birthday and Christmas.

Years of separation

Another 10 years passed before Father Forno and Joe spoke to each other on the phone. Unfortunately, the news wasn't good: Their father, Arthur, had died of brain tumors. Father Forno understood when Joe said he couldn't really mourn the death of their father, whom Joe never knew, but Father Forno wanted him to know about his passing nonetheless.

Although he continued sending birthday and Christmas cards to his brother, Father Forno was debating whether or not he should send Joe another card last Christmas. Not only had he stopped hearing from Joe, but his correspondence with Brooke, Joe's daughter, who had written to him a few times, also had ended.

Despite the long period of silence on his brother's part, Father Forno finally did send Joe a Christmas card. If he heard from his brother, great, but he wasn't counting on it.

Restored connections

A few weeks later, Father Forno received a letter from Joe, the first one sent by his brother. It read:

"Dear Adam: Thanks for the card. I hope you had a good Christmas and all your people are well! I am sorry that I don't write much. I feel that I should have over the years. Brooke is well; she is 22 years old and graduated from college this summer. We had a good Christmas, and I thought of you more than once. Please write and I will try to do the same. Love, your brother Joe."

Father Forno was overjoyed to hear from Joe, and he was even more delighted when his brother called and left a phone message on Jan. 16, the 10th anniversary of their father's death. They spoke the next day for nearly an hour, and Father Forno believes that conversation is what made their visit last month possible.

Dad's face

As Father Forno flew to Nashville to meet his brother, he felt nervous and wondered whether or not Joe would accept him. Upon arriving at the airport and seeing his sibling for the first time, Father Forno thought to himself, "My God, look at that face!" Joe was a spitting image of their father and bore the same features as other men in the Forno family.

During their three-day visit, Father Forno assured Joe that he didn't need to be entertained; he simply wanted to be with him and learn about him. They both came to know a lot about each other.

Now 53, Joe spent nearly 15 years running a Pontiac dealership outside Nashville and retired at 39. He has since lived the good life, investing in apartment complexes and jewelry stores to maintain his wealth. Although Joe was raised in a strict, Southern Baptist setting, he's not a religious man. But he seemed to appreciate his brother's decision to become a priest.

"I think he has all sorts of respect for my position in life, although he can't relate to it," Father Forno said. "He doesn't understand it, but I think he's incredibly proud of it."

Family traits

Likewise, Father Forno admires his brother for his success and good fortune, and for displaying the traits that run through their family.

"He's got the worldly wisdom of Uncle Joe and the generosity of Uncle Tony," Father Forno said. "A best side of the Fornos shows in him. I have nothing but utter praise."

Father Forno also met Brooke, his niece, while visiting Joe. A graduate of Rhodes College in Memphis, she demonstrated her artistic flair by sketching her uncle, the one to whom she had written letters several years earlier. Joe's current girlfriend, Alice, and his ex-wife, Barbara, also met Father Forno, and they all shared plenty of laughs and tender moments during his brief stay.

Continued relationship

The two brothers plan to keep in touch, and Father Forno hopes to visit again someday. Joe probably won't be traveling to the Albany area since he doesn't enjoy flying. Father Forno sent an emotion-filled thank-you note to his brother and family.

Parishioners of St. Joseph's have been following these developments in Father Forno's life by listening to his homilies, during which he has shared details of finding out he had a brother, keeping in touch by phone and mail over the years, and finally meeting him.

In addition, Father Forno's story seems to have inspired parishioners to track down long-lost relatives, such as a woman who finally met the mother who gave her up for adoption, or the man who eventually located the stepfather for whom he had been searching.

Now that Father Forno has met Joe after years of waiting and hoping, he has achieved a sense of personal inner peace, at last.

"If something happened tomorrow and I die, my life would be complete. I feel a sense of completeness and closure," he said.

(06-18-98) [[In-content Ad]]