Priest: Conflicts in parishes can be lessened

"Too many people are getting hurt. That's the opposite of what we are trying to be as Church," remarked Rev. George Brennan, MS.

He was referring to conflicts among people involved in Church ministries, an uncomfortable but unavoidable problem when diverse people work on the same parish committees, diocesan commissions and other Church-related efforts.

On March 29 and April 5, he will lead a two-session program titled, "From Debate to Dialogue: Managing Conflicts in Ministry."

Think-alikes

In theory, said Father Brennan, Catholics welcome diversity and appreciate differences. In practice, however, people tend to seek out others whose spirituality is much like their own.

When Catholics encounter those who are different, "like the rest of society, we stumble," he said. "Conflict tends to drive us apart instead of bringing out the best in us."

People tend to see conflict as negative, he said; and people in ministry, who "ought to be more motivated than the average person to manage conflicts," try to avoid them.

Ideas of Church

"We don't think about conflicts unless we're stuck in them," Father Brennan noted. "People in ministry discover that other people's understanding of what it means to be Church is very different from their own, but they think the way they first were taught about the Church is the end of the discussion."

Unfortunately, that means many Catholics who start out eager to become more involved in parish life get hurt and may end up walking away from not just a particular project, but also from a parish or the Church itself.

"I'm trying to promote a mindset of reconciliation," Father Brennan explained. "I'm highly inspired by Pope John Paul II, and the ways he was so courageous in acknowledging the mistakes that have been made [by the Church] down through the ages. That's a major first step in transforming [conflicts] into grace moments for us."

Necessary skills

During his program, he plans to explain how conflict in ministries can be valuable and teach some skills for getting beyond differences.

"It is in our best interest to try to dialogue with each other," he said, "and I don't assume we'll begin by being highly motivated to do it! [But] if we're the slightest bit open to dialogue, that's all you need to start with."

(Father Brennan -- a LaSallette priest and psychologist who works with diocesan Catholic Charities' Housing Office and serves as sacramental minister at St. Mary's parish in Troy -- said the subject of conflicts in ministry was discussed at last year's Priests' Convocation, an annual gathering of all the priests in the Albany Diocese. He said the priests agreed that education on managing conflict was needed, leading him to offer his program, sponsored by the Albany diocesan Consultation Center, which offers counseling services and educational programs on mental health issues. The fee for the two evening sessions of "From Debate to Dialogue" is $25. To register, call the Consultation Center at 489-4431. A similar but shorter program will be offered at Spring Enrichment in May.)

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