April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
FAMILY LIFE
Pondering parenting
Before the boys fell asleep, we read them Bible stories. But whenever a story referencing hell appeared, I'd discreetly turn the page and skip it.
It may sound idealistic, but I wanted our four little men to grow up doing the right thing not to avoid hell, but because it's simply the right thing to do. I saw no point in frightening them with the prospect of eternal separation from God.
This, as well as many of my well-meaning parenting techniques, failed because the TV, computer and internet introduced a far more threatening version of eternal separation than I could have ever concocted.
Looking back to my younger years, I suppose I had reason for skipping those stories. I am the third in a family of seven children. When I was about 16, two of my sisters became born-again Christians.
Their abrupt behavior changes threw our family for a loop: I was informed that I was not "saved" and that if I did not become a born-again Christian, it would be impossible for me to get into heaven. Whenever anyone came over or called the house, they were also told this.
Not only was this embarrassing, it was frightening. I helped out at home, attended Mass and said my prayers each night. I thought I was doing pretty well. As a young teen, I knew I didn't want to suffer eternally, but I also didn't want to join my sisters' denomination.
Time has a way of softening extreme behavior and working things out for good. Now, at the age of 52, I often look back and smile at how God used that uncomfortable season in my family's life to bring us and our subsequent children closer to Him.
About seven years ago, in preparation for confirmation, one of our sons went to meet with our pastor. Although the boys were fond of him, they hadn't been enthusiastic about attending religious ed classes. I drove him there and waited nervously in the parking lot. When our son came out, he had a huge smile on his face. Surprised, I asked, "How'd it go?" He made a fist with both hands, popped them on the dashboard, looked at me and said, "Mom! You can't earn salvation. It is a gift. All you can do is decide whether or not you are going to receive it."
Then he sat back, faced forward and put on his seatbelt. We drove home in silence; even I could not think of something to say!
I have come to realize that if I pay attention, God provides helpful insights at the most unpredictable moments. If I'm patient, even when life throws me for a loop, more times than not my feet land in a much better place.
(Mrs. Bonanno lives in Colonie and attends St. Mary's Church in Albany.)[[In-content Ad]]
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