Parents can teach children faith by living it

Experts in many fields call parents the "first educators" of their children. When it comes to the faith formation and religious education of infants, toddlers and preschool children, a "Called to be Church" team in the Northern Albany County deanery agrees.

Representatives from St. Mary's Church in Waterford and from several Cohoes parishes -- St. Rita's, St. Michael's, St. Bernard's, St. Joseph's and Holy Trinity -- recently participated in a meeting on educating children in their faith, which is the current theme for "Called to be Church" discussions throughout the Albany Diocese.

How kids learn

"We were looking at faith formation [of young children] and trying to find some ways that we could encourage" parents to take on that role, explained Ken Clough, a member of St. Mary's parish. "Parental involvement is key in faith development."

Young children learn through example and direct experience, said Tina Burke, a parishioner of St. Bernard's Church in Cohoes who is retired from a career as an educator and school principal.

Kids apprehend the world through the five senses; through examining and imitating what their parents, grandparents and older siblings do; and through repetition of tasks, she added.

"They learn by their senses; they learn by modeling," she said, which gives enormous importance to how parents approach going to Mass, praying and reading the Bible.

Parents' role

Rev. Arthur Becker, pastor of Holy Trinity parish in Cohoes , said "Kids at this age can't do anything without parents. If there is a faith dimension to a child's life, it has to come through the parents."

One problem, he noted, is that young parents, who are often busy with two jobs and other commitments, don't always worship regularly or participate actively in Church life, even if they value faith.

That's why he sees a need to "re-engage them as the primary teachers of their children."

Resources

Parents can help instill faith in their toddler children in easy, everyday ways, explained Karen Beattie, director of faith formation at Holy Trinity.

"You pray before meals with kids; you pray before bed," she said. "An important part is bringing children to Sunday Mass as a family."

Mr. Clough said the group noted that hosting activities for young parents and their families may be another method. They also endorsed having support groups and "keeping [parents] informed so they know what's going in the church and how they can participate."

Welcome to Church

Father Becker noted that parishes should look at the years after Baptism as prime-time for making families with young children feel welcome in church, perhaps by having senior citizens from the parish call every so often to see how they're doing and to ask what the parish can do to help them.

The welcome feeling for young families, Mrs. Burke said, must continue once the families are through the church door by making the experience a comfortable place for both parents and children.

Children also feel welcome when there's a liturgy for them that brings difficult Bible readings and over-the-head homilies down to a level they can understand and enjoy, said Mr. Clough.

Cry-room

All three participants underlined the need to make young families feel accepted even if their children cry or misbehave during Mass.

For Mrs. Burke, that acceptance includes eliminating negative non-verbal cues that other parishioners might give when a child cries in church, such as sidelong looks, stiffening and unwelcoming stares.

"If a kid cries, that's what a kid does," explained Father Becker. "Kids are kids. That's what they do."

("If Mom and Dad don't go to church, you can't expect it to be central to the children. We need to spend as much time talking about parents and adults as we do about our children." -- Tina Burke)

(3/22/07) [[In-content Ad]]