Oneonta visitors keep in touch with elderly and ill Catholics

After carrying the Bambino's enormous golf bag for 18 holes, young Harry got only 85 cents for his effort. "The bag weighed 200 pounds. He wouldn't even give you the 15 cents to make it a dollar," Mr. Green said.

That's just one of many stories Mr. Green told Bob Beken, a parishioner of St. Mary's Church in Oneonta who visited him at The Robynwood adult home. Mr. Beken visits his friend each week as part of St. Mary's Outreach to the Aging Program.

Full service

St. Mary's Outreach to the Aging Program offers other services to elderly parishioners, including: transporting them to and from appointments or Mass, running errands, helping with chores, and calling on the phone as a sign of friendship.

The "Friendly Visitors" were the idea of Barbara Dugan Lilly, St. Mary's pastoral associate for outreach to the aging and sick. She recognized that parishioners already were doing wonderful outreach but wanted to do more in "trying to relieve the burden of loneliness of the elderly wherever they reside, alone or in adult or nursing homes," she said.

After discussing her idea with parishioners at Mass one Sunday, Mrs. Dugan Lilly received an excellent response from people who wanted to become "Friendly Visitors." She assigned each volunteer to one elderly person whom they would visit when convenient for both.

Communicating

Those who are "Friendly Visitors" may still be in elementary school or old enough to have retired, but no matter what their age, they understand the importance of their ministry to the senior members of their parish.

"They feel that they're going to enhance the lives of these aging parishioners in a meaningful way by providing love, companionship and care," Mrs. Dugan Lilly said. "They get more than they give."

Making connections

For example, Teresa Dobler, a new mother, came to A.O. Fox Nursing Home with her five-week-old daughter, Katherine, to visit Agnes Skala. A Long Island native, Agnes lived with her sister in Chatham for many years and owned a beauty parlor. She just turned 87 and has been living at the nursing home for two years.

This visit was significant because it marked the first time that Teresa had seen Agnes out of her bed; instead of meeting in her bedroom, they went down the hall to a family room to chat.

Baby at center

"She's like the dolls I used to play with. What size shoes does she wear?" Agnes asked. "Just little ones," Teresa replied.

They also noticed some characteristics of the sleepy baby. "I think she's going to have curly hair," Agnes said. "I think she's got Daddy's cheeks," Teresa pointed out.

Agnes got a chance to hold Katherine, who opened her eyes briefly but kept dozing off amid the conversation going on around her. Katherine was so named because Teresa simply liked the name; Agnes explained what her name meant during her childhood: "My mother called me 'Agnes' when she was mad at me. When she wasn't mad at me, she'd call me 'Aggie'."

With their visit over, Agnes went for physical therapy, and Teresa got her daughter ready to leave. Teresa enjoys visiting Agnes and discussing more than just her baby daughter. "We talk about whatever Agnes wants to talk about, because it's her time," she said.

Health news

Sitting in rocking chairs, Harry talked to Bob about his last doctor's appointment and the good news he received: After a case of pneumonia, Harry seemed to be doing well and wouldn't have to see his doctor for four months.

They also discussed travel and how both have visited St. Louis. Harry used to drive down to Florida, but he now appreciates flying more. Bob mentioned that an usher at St. Mary's drives his car to Baltimore and puts it on a train when he travels to Florida.

Bob and Harry get along as though they were best friends, and they each make the most of their time together.

"I look forward to visiting. It's relaxing just to chat. Harry's always nice to me," Bob said. Said Harry: "I get along with everybody, I think."

War memories

One of eight children, Eleanor was born in Massachusetts and served in the Army Nurse Corps during World War II, which is how she met her husband, John. She took care of soldiers who were returning home by train.

"You ever give a bath on a moving train?" she asked. "You get most of the water on yourself."

"I think we've gotten to be friends, and we get to know about each other and our families," Cynthia said.

"All the family secrets," Eleanor noted, and the two shared a laugh.

(03-18-99) [[In-content Ad]]